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Eternity This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

By Caroline W., Markham,

(Inspired by Twilight by Stephenie Meyer)

It’s strange that I never noticed how fast clouds move before. It was sort of frightening. I almost felt like running for cover, as though they might lose control and tumble from the sky and crush me. I might have done just that had I not been so comfortable where I was, lying in the sun in a lush meadow.

I turned to look at the beautiful, ageless being stretched on the grass beside me. His looks were deceiving, for while he appeared to be a normal teenage boy, I knew he was well over 300 years old and not human at all.

“Nathaniel,” I said, my voice sounding loud in the calm of the clearing.

“Mmm?” was his only reply. His eyes were closed and a lazy smile graced his lips as he soaked up the sun.

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20 comment(s)
420ULTIMATESWAGLORD2000
I think that this story is sinfully close to twilight. Given its a short story and you do say you were inspired by twilight but this is practically hitting that copy and paste button. Also there is no character development other then the fact that they like each other so without one the other is lifeless and with eachother they are still bland. Sub pat
Apr. 10, 2015 at 10:24 AM • Report
WallFlowerAlice
"Its really good" said Alice.
Dec. 21, 2014 at 2:52 PM • Report
AlexandriaRose
It was really well written.
Nov. 16, 2014 at 4:55 PM • Report
writer5
I think this is very well written, but some parts seemed almost like they were copied and pasted straight from Twilight.  While it's always great to use inspiration from other books while writing, try adding your own flair.  It's a great start, though :)
Aug. 14, 2014 at 5:05 PM • Report
reader21
awww:) I wish there was more <3 great story                                  
Apr. 01, 2014 at 8:33 AM • Report
DemoDerby
Aww. You should write more that adds to that story. I like it and I wanna hear more about them. :'3 it made me smile and tear up, and I dont really do that. I loved it! Im adding it to my favorites. Oh and check out some of my stuff sometime please and also comment what you think, I kinda wanna know what people think of my stuff. I'm gonna have much more by the way.
Nov. 20, 2013 at 10:08 PM • Report
Deej6595
This is a good romantic short story. It is a perfect way to end it.
Nov. 14, 2013 at 10:22 PM • Report
childofinsanity
i love this it is AMAZING you should check out some of my wotk
Aug. 02, 2013 at 9:43 PM • Report
ElaineEL27
I will be honest. I do not think much of Twilight, admittedly more because of the movies and less because of Stephenie Meyer—I have far more respect for her than I do for the actors and directors. However, I truly enjoyed this. I think it's wonderful that you used a work and made it into something arguably better and unique. :)
May. 28, 2013 at 2:48 PM • Report
SimranRazdan
this was EXACTLY like twilight except the names and the fact that you really did turn edward into a shiny pixie(haha). sorry but i think you stretched the term "inspired" a bit too much.Romance is a beautiful genre with emphasis on writing style and story. with the kind of talent you have, you can do a lot better than copying off twilight even though you say its "inspired"  
Jan. 20, 2013 at 7:18 AM • Report
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