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I Let Myself

By Xinwen, Brossard, Canada

Sometimes I think I’m going crazy. Sometimes I see
things that can’t possibly exist (like you and me – together)
and I find myself reluctant to erase the hallucination.
I let myself dream until my dreams betray me.

I’ve always been so terrified of death. With you as
my life support, I let myself forget how to breathe.
I’m more comfortable this way, but being unable to
receive fresh strength from the world, I will surely
choke on carbon dioxygenated grief should you leave.

I’m hooked on drugs that don’t harm yet are so
dangerously addictive, and on a smile that never fails
to sway me. I gave you my hand, then let myself be
led by your light down a precarious path of emotional

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