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The Siren’s Song    (Continued)

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a creature
I hadn't seen before
with a tail of silver
that glowed in the moonlight
with the face of a women
and hair like the snow
a song on her lips
she swayed to and fro

I gasped,
I gawked, standing there
under the radiant moon

A light
A snap
breaking the darkness
shattering her song
into the waters' depths
she was gone

But sometimes when
the moon glistens on the sandy shore
when the sky is midnight
when the waves rise
like a billowing cape
when the world is silent
and the wind is still
the siren sings her song
swaying to and fro
Her song will forever remain
unknown.



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22 comment(s)
EPluribusUnum
I loved how you wove bits of rhyme in and out of this, you had me hanging on listening for more bits of music in this poem. It was woven as beautifully as the song of the siren herself, and I loved the story of it. This is beautiful! :D
Jan. 15, 2013 at 10:15 PM • Report
Kris_10
I love the Picture this peice was able to create in my mind. I felt like I was there with you. really good! :)
Jan. 13, 2013 at 6:57 PM • Report
3dancer
Thanks Yeah that was my goal.
Jan. 14, 2013 at 12:27 AM • Report
ZhaNae
WOW! That was so awesome!!! I love the image you put in my head. Great Work
Jan. 13, 2013 at 3:35 PM • Report
ChobaniLuvinPenguin
Awesome! You give the reader very clear visuals and the poem has a beautiful overall flow! I especially like stanzas 3 and 8, their mystical eerieness appeals to me. :) I am just confused about one thing: some stanzas rhyme, but this is supposed to be a free verse poem.
Jan. 13, 2013 at 1:01 PM • Report
3dancer
Yeah I know some of the stanzas ryhme. It's supposed to be free verse yes. I just liked using the words that I did the fact that they ended up ryhming is 100% conencedential.
Jan. 13, 2013 at 1:48 PM • Report
BelieveMyStolenPromise
I love all the imagery you've used in the poem. It creates a very vivid picture of the setting and gives the poem a professional feel. It is an altogether beautiful poem, and congratulations on getting it in the magazine :)
Jan. 13, 2013 at 9:45 AM • Report
3dancer
Thank you:) Yeah I'm extremly exited about getting it published in the magazine!
Jan. 13, 2013 at 1:46 PM • Report
guardianofthestars
That was beautiful.  I could easily imagin the magic in the moment. :)
Jan. 12, 2013 at 12:35 PM • Report
3dancer
Thank you :) Yeah I think it's one of the best poems I've ever written.
Jan. 12, 2013 at 6:08 PM • Report
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