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Parsons Avenue

Malanie B., Blacklick, OH By Malanie, Blacklick, OH

The beginning of the bottoms
Where the dirty poor live
Where they steal and gangs are power
Where drugs are food and liquor is water
I am disguised as one of them. A teenage girl walking home from a rundown school
As I walk I look around, fearing the danger but wanting to know
I catch sight of an old man, sitting by a dumpster
A bottle is clutched tightly in his hand and his eyes look down
He’s spent his whole life with a bottle in his hands, drunk and alone
A sadness I’ll never understand lays heavily on him, chaining him to the blacktop
I watch as a few young men pass him. He flinches and looks anywhere but at them
He’s been beaten I’m sure, because he is weaker than them and cannot fight back

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2 comment(s)
L7SquariaN
Very powerful. I can't tell if you made this up, or if you actually experience it; it's that convincing.

My favorite segment was that on the old man. Your word choice undoubtedly accomplished its goal of envoking a sense of distress and helpness.

Also, when I read "walk on", up until the last one, I assumed it to be involuntary and resentful, considering the misfortune and brutality accompanied with doing so, but upon finishing the poem, I realized that the character (perhaps yourself) continued to "walk on" with strength and optimism, knowing they weren't bound to that hardship.

In short, this is a remarkable piece, with excellent diction, description, breaks, and metaphors. 5/5
Nov. 24, 2012 at 1:46 PM • Report
Malanie
Wow, thank you so much! It means a lot. :)
Nov. 26, 2012 at 8:03 AM • Report
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