I admit it. I’m obsessed over him, my ex-boyfriend. He has amazing, big hazel eyes, smooth tan skin and curly black hair, baby face like mine, a quirky nose, and little stubbles of hair on his upper lip. He has strong toned arms that used to wrap around my tiny waist and make me feel safe and warm. He always smelled cinnamon-y, and musky and warm like a cabin in the forest. I leaned on his chest and felt it rise and fall in a calming synchronized rhythm. I held his hand and no longer felt like the lost sometimes frightened teenage girl I was. I looked into his caramel-y eyes and felt loved and beautiful. I never remembered my messed up hair, new zit or big feet when I was with him.
When I first met him he made me laugh and smile. He texted me every day. He sent me messages telling me how perfect, beautiful , cute and amazing I was. We lovingly called each other novia and novio. The Spanish words for boyfriend and girlfriend. He wanted me around him all the time so naturally I felt extremely special and important.
We went to the mall together, ate dinner together, watched movies together and went shopping together and whatever we did we were happy. Or at least that’s what I believed.
Things started falling apart only one and a half weeks into our relationship. He didn’t text as much, he didn’t write cute things, he didn’t seem as happy or talkative when he was around me. I didn’t know what the problem was. I was so scared. He was my first boyfriend and I loved him. I would do anything for him. But things were not getting better. I tried to talk to him and he apologized for ignoring me but he said he didn’t know what made him feel different about me. A week later he came over. June 6th to be exact at around 8:30 at night. We sat on the curb and he broke the news to me gently. He couldn’t be my boyfriend he was too immature, too young, too selfish. He couldn’t handle having a girlfriend right now. It was too stressful for him to worry about me. He told me I was amazing, and that he still wanted to go out with me in the future but not now.
What hurts the most is that I miss him so much and I know he doesn’t miss me. He doesn’t mind not texting me, not holding my hand, not cuddling on the couch watching chick-flicks. He doesn’t remember everything we did together and remember how it felt. He’s enjoying his freedom while I feel like I am in the prison of hopeless obsession.
I can’t forget him. I can’t stop wanting things to be exactly like they were at first. I am crazy over him. I saved all my favorite text messages from him and I read them every day. They make me smile and cry inside at the same time. I wait for him to text me and every day he doesn’t hurts more.
He said he still wants to be my friend yet he’s ignoring me. He forgot me just like I once told him he would.
I need to get over him. I need to let go. He’s not mine anymore. He’s not accountable to me. He doesn’t have to text me or worry about me any longer. My first boyfriend is long gone and I need to move on…
When I first met him he made me laugh and smile. He texted me every day. He sent me messages telling me how perfect, beautiful , cute and amazing I was. We lovingly called each other novia and novio. The Spanish words for boyfriend and girlfriend. He wanted me around him all the time so naturally I felt extremely special and important.
We went to the mall together, ate dinner together, watched movies together and went shopping together and whatever we did we were happy. Or at least that’s what I believed.
Things started falling apart only one and a half weeks into our relationship. He didn’t text as much, he didn’t write cute things, he didn’t seem as happy or talkative when he was around me. I didn’t know what the problem was. I was so scared. He was my first boyfriend and I loved him. I would do anything for him. But things were not getting better. I tried to talk to him and he apologized for ignoring me but he said he didn’t know what made him feel different about me. A week later he came over. June 6th to be exact at around 8:30 at night. We sat on the curb and he broke the news to me gently. He couldn’t be my boyfriend he was too immature, too young, too selfish. He couldn’t handle having a girlfriend right now. It was too stressful for him to worry about me. He told me I was amazing, and that he still wanted to go out with me in the future but not now.
What hurts the most is that I miss him so much and I know he doesn’t miss me. He doesn’t mind not texting me, not holding my hand, not cuddling on the couch watching chick-flicks. He doesn’t remember everything we did together and remember how it felt. He’s enjoying his freedom while I feel like I am in the prison of hopeless obsession.
I can’t forget him. I can’t stop wanting things to be exactly like they were at first. I am crazy over him. I saved all my favorite text messages from him and I read them every day. They make me smile and cry inside at the same time. I wait for him to text me and every day he doesn’t hurts more.
He said he still wants to be my friend yet he’s ignoring me. He forgot me just like I once told him he would.
I need to get over him. I need to let go. He’s not mine anymore. He’s not accountable to me. He doesn’t have to text me or worry about me any longer. My first boyfriend is long gone and I need to move on…
Post a Comment
Be the first to comment on this article!