Just two summers ago was when my life changed its perspective on trust and on friendships. I sincerely realized that even as a teenager with a mind of so many mixed emotions and fanatical neutrons in the mind, the irrepressible feeling of vengeance and abhorrence seemed to overpower my orderly thoughts and instead gave me so much trouble on trusting one another.
During that scorching summer of the 100 and more degrees, it was about time to have discovered the truth behind the demon lies. With my friends at a party that also included my best and the crush, I was rather vigilant and observed the stories behind each persons’ dull eyes. It was then when I had had the feeling of pure fiery hatred. There isn’t much to explain but the fact of someone I thought I knew outside to inside wasn’t at all who anybody thought was. This person, supposedly my best friend for the past two years was an actress and even admitted she wanted an acting career. Unable to differ reality to dramas, she had been a backstabber and acted in the real life in front of her friends and me.
The most difficult part however was when love tied into this mess. For me I had liked this guy for years, and when I asked so many times if she too had feelings for this boy, a shake of the head in denial would always be the response. Finally the time went by and the “yes” was heard. Obsession was too. Being the victim as well.
Everyday the explanations of being the target from other people felt more and more like lies. No, she wants attention, not sympathy. She wants him, not a promising good friend who as well wants him but wants the friend more.
Watching her movements and blush, her cheeks rise to a slight smile barely noticeable when he was around and her eye twinkle like she was love struck all gave me the impression that all her actions in the spotlight upon his view were deceptions using her acting skills.
How did I know she was lying you may question. It was quite easy. Days after and when I sneaked into the bathroom with her diary and revenge, reading page after page was all about the boy. She even had a list from most like to least like of three guys, three guys she fibbed about. One, she kept telling me stories of how she was annoyed by him. Another, how it was the other way around; he liked her. And it all comes back down to the boy, the boy she “had no feelings towards”.
“Oh my gosh, he joked about being my boyfriend. I feel like the queen of the world!” The notebook had read. I rolled my eyes.
It wasn’t until the very bottom of the page where it mentioned the risks of losing a best friend, me, if I was to know about her little “boy obsession”. Like The Boy Who Cried Wolf, a lie of course was as to be believed as.
It’s been a few years of struggling, days of outbursts of tears and days of writing, and even now the pain and detestation still hasn’t diminished. It may seem like I am being overly dramatic but I’m not. After the confrontation during the autumn after that scarring summer, I felt like I was walking on thorns and that one day, I would fall and be backstabbed again.
Relearning to trust again has been my adventure throughout the years, but fortunately, I have made friends with the greatest people alive and I can finally believe that they truly know that “Best friend is not a label, but a promise.”
During that scorching summer of the 100 and more degrees, it was about time to have discovered the truth behind the demon lies. With my friends at a party that also included my best and the crush, I was rather vigilant and observed the stories behind each persons’ dull eyes. It was then when I had had the feeling of pure fiery hatred. There isn’t much to explain but the fact of someone I thought I knew outside to inside wasn’t at all who anybody thought was. This person, supposedly my best friend for the past two years was an actress and even admitted she wanted an acting career. Unable to differ reality to dramas, she had been a backstabber and acted in the real life in front of her friends and me.
The most difficult part however was when love tied into this mess. For me I had liked this guy for years, and when I asked so many times if she too had feelings for this boy, a shake of the head in denial would always be the response. Finally the time went by and the “yes” was heard. Obsession was too. Being the victim as well.
Everyday the explanations of being the target from other people felt more and more like lies. No, she wants attention, not sympathy. She wants him, not a promising good friend who as well wants him but wants the friend more.
Watching her movements and blush, her cheeks rise to a slight smile barely noticeable when he was around and her eye twinkle like she was love struck all gave me the impression that all her actions in the spotlight upon his view were deceptions using her acting skills.
How did I know she was lying you may question. It was quite easy. Days after and when I sneaked into the bathroom with her diary and revenge, reading page after page was all about the boy. She even had a list from most like to least like of three guys, three guys she fibbed about. One, she kept telling me stories of how she was annoyed by him. Another, how it was the other way around; he liked her. And it all comes back down to the boy, the boy she “had no feelings towards”.
“Oh my gosh, he joked about being my boyfriend. I feel like the queen of the world!” The notebook had read. I rolled my eyes.
It wasn’t until the very bottom of the page where it mentioned the risks of losing a best friend, me, if I was to know about her little “boy obsession”. Like The Boy Who Cried Wolf, a lie of course was as to be believed as.
It’s been a few years of struggling, days of outbursts of tears and days of writing, and even now the pain and detestation still hasn’t diminished. It may seem like I am being overly dramatic but I’m not. After the confrontation during the autumn after that scarring summer, I felt like I was walking on thorns and that one day, I would fall and be backstabbed again.
Relearning to trust again has been my adventure throughout the years, but fortunately, I have made friends with the greatest people alive and I can finally believe that they truly know that “Best friend is not a label, but a promise.”
SilverSun
xoxmusicnote10
youngspeare
Illuminatus
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