“I never felt comfortable with myself, because I was never part of the majority. I always felt awkward and shy and on the outside of the momentum of my friends' lives.” -Steven Spielberg When I was young, I was so shy that I only talked to a few people. I never even looked people in the eye when I talked to them. Being shy as a child shaped my personality, who my friends were, and even my family.

When I was in elementary school, I really only talked to one person because I was so shy. She was my best friend and we did everything together. There were a few other people I would occasionally talk to, but it took me an extensive amount of time to really be myself around them. There were people I sat near at lunch that I have known for years, but have probably said three words to in the time that I’ve known them. It still takes me quite a while until I am able to be myself in public, but I’m working on it.

I get my shyness from my dad. He is a shy and quiet person, so my brother and I followed in his footsteps. My brother used to tell me how certain things I did annoyed him, even though I was just being myself. So I began to think that I couldn’t be who I was because I would annoy people. Eventually I learned that my brother was just self-conscious by me being so crazy in public because he was so quiet and shy. I almost feel as if being shy is genetic because virtually all of my cousins are really introverted as well. We usually sat around in awkward silence for a while until someone worked up the nerve to ask how everyone was doing. But by then it was already time to leave. We were a strange group of kids…

My shyness has really molded my personality as a whole. I generally prefer to be on my own. I also typically don’t like getting help from others; I like to be independent and do everything on my own. Over the last couple of years, however, I have been trying to be less wary. I have had to teach myself how to interact with other people. I have a technical way of thinking, so I began analyzing the way everyone talks or what they say or do. I’ve learned that there are certain varieties of people and that I can “train” them. For example, I learn how individuals react to certain things and how to get the response I’m looking for. If they do something I like, I react in a way that they like, but in a subtle way. Slowly, I shape the way that we interact. In a sense, I play mind games with people. It is by this method I have managed to become more social. I won’t be able to discontinue analyzing the technical part of social interactions, but I’ve undeniably come a long way since elementary school.