Dear Mr. Mean Man, 

I remember when I first saw you, as a little boy.  I was awkwardly sitting in one of many chairs in the church.  There were no real walls in the room, and it was too brightly lit for a Wednesday night.  The tables in the room were the fold up ones to put away every so often.  They were long, plastic, and seemed to go one forever.  The chairs weren’t any better; they were cold and hard metal chairs that were as comfortable as a brick.  I remember checking the clock being bored out of my mind.  I think I thought about just up and leaving more than necessary.   

Then I remember seeing you, looking back at me.  You were scrunched up and hunched over your laptop.  I remember you trying to make yourself invisible.  You were so skinny one could see your shoulders jut out, and eyes too big for your head.  Although, one couldn’t see your eyes because they were covered by your hair.  It looked like a black curtain before a play. I remember your hair looking like black silk, almost too perfect to touch.  I remember when I first saw those doe-like eyes.  They had a certain glimmer to them I’ve never seen before, maybe it was curiosity. I remember your eyes being able to hold stories never to be told.  I remember how badly I wanted to read those stories. I don’t know why, but I remember it was hard for your eyes to look into mine.  Oh god, you were too innocent for this world.  

Times have certainly changed since then.  I was the person to think the thoughts never to be thunk.  I was always somewhere else, a couple of worlds away.  I had more of a stocky build that made me look very unappealing.  I was always looking down so one couldn’t ever see my face.  My hair was the same brown that it is now, but there was some sort of weight on my hair.  My hair was almost as flat and dry as my life.  My eyes were always a dull brown that never showed any emotion.  I would never smile as much, I never even talked that much in general. I was the girl with the thought that the world hated me.  I remember thinking that everything in life was so simple. 

You were the boy who had one too many bad things in their world.  You were always the first one to say ‘I love you.’ Not only that but you were always the first to say, “I hate you.” Whenever you spoke it was something beautiful.  There was always something dark about you; its surprisingly a big part of you. I only got to see a glimpse of what that was, but I am glad I only saw a glimpse.  I’m scared for the girl who has to see all of it.  I am sure however that someone will, and I’m sure they won’t care.  There’s going to be a girl brave enough to withstand your silken black heart.

From what I can tell, you look like almost a completely different person.  I saw you today standing with the rest of the student body, and I started to cry.  The person I saw today was not the little boy I have come to know and love.  This person standing before me was a man.  This man looked like he stood through thousands of sandstorms, and he looked just as ready to withstand the next one.  He had a look in his eye of determination, and I’m scared for the person he was determined for.  I knew at this very moment that he has finally found a light, and for once it wasn’t in a person.  

I stand as a completely different person.  I walk about as a social butterfly, and everything in my life seems so much lighter now.  My thoughts are so scattered that thinking about a topic for more than two hours is extremely difficult.  Now I belong with so many more people, and I think I talk to 10-15 people in a day.  I really do think that you’d be proud of me with how many times I laugh in a day.  Happiness has consumed me Mr. Mean Man; I don’t know what to do with all of it some of the time.  

I think this has to do with my job.  I received this job not too long ago, but this has given me so many opportunities.  This gives me a chance to communicate and work with people so much more.  You can never be sad for too long, or someone will make you laugh.  I remember whenever I was down there was always this one guy who would walk up to me and crack a couple jokes to get me to smile.  That was just the person that he was, and I’ll never forget him. This job taught me to not be scared to ask for help, and that you can’t do everything. I made so many friends at this job, because everyone talks to each other there.  Everyone talks about how rude some customers are, how stressful or frustrating their life is, someone will ask for advice, tell everyone something amazing that happened, or something horrible.  I feel like I belong in a second family.  If someone isn’t a fan of you, you almost automatically know.  Plus, you have people there to stand alongside you.  I’ve blossomed ever since I started working at my second home.  

I became really close with people I had already been friends with.  These people mean a lot to me, and I don’t know what I would do without them.  This especially goes for my best friend.  She’s been there for so much of my life, it wouldn’t surprise me if I annoy her.  We’re always so annoying to everyone else, and we talk in a way that no one else can understand.  When people think that we’re arguing; we’re just telling each other how much we love another.  My life would be really difficult to live through if I didn’t have her there. 

While I gain friends, I also lost some friends.  I recently lost one of the best friends I have ever met.  It’s a shame that we grew as far apart as we did; we used to be as close as sisters.  Unfortunately, there’s not very much room for each other in our lives.  At this time, I wanted to run back to you.  I’ve never felt so out of place when I lost this part of my life.  I used to tell this poor girl everything that happened, and when I lost her I automatically thought of running to you.  The only thing I thought of was the good I had in store for me.  This much heartbreak could only be rewarded with too much love for one person.  

The good news is, when I lost my best friend I gained about three or four more. I don’t think you understand what I mean when I say that I gained a lot of friends.  Some of my best friends now are people that I never would’ve thought of even talking to.  

My friends now include a hick; he always has lots of opinions and isn’t scared to let someone know he’s right.  He’s never afraid to let you know that he’s mad. At the same time if you get along with him, he’s not afraid to show you how much he cares about you. 

A drama freak; he can always light up a room with his jokes, and the laugh that usually follows.  He can be a little quirky at times, but thank god that’s what makes him so lovable. Otherwise I have no idea how people would be able to tolerate him.    

A creepy moron; he is a moron and can never understand what I say. He acts like such a dork and plays plants vs. zombies on his phone about all the time.  He always has horrible jokes that you can laugh at, always has something to say, and is yet more quiet than most.  He always knows how to embarrass you so that your cheeks turn red, but still doesn’t do any damage. Somehow he ended up as of my best friends.    

A hot mess; she is the most loving girl I have ever met.  Even through all of her hardships, she can find the good in everybody.  She can be stressed out easily, but at least she works through it.  All she ever wants is a friend, and thank god that I am her friend.  

The most popular person anyone knows; everyone knows this kid, and for good reason too.  He’s so kind to everyone he meets, and has enough talent for three other people.  We tend to argue a lot, but it’s over little things and we always make up with a funny face from across the room.   

An angry troll; most people describe him as a cocky and angry little boy.  He can be more than that, but only if he lets you see it.  He has hardships too, and I personally admire the way he overcomes them.  He rarely smiles, but when he does it lights up the universe. 

A girl with an attitude and an appetite; this young soul is not afraid to tell everyone just how mad she is and why.  She doesn’t care about what people think about her, and I wish more people were like that.  She’s also a really giving girl, people tend to be surprised at how much she’s willing to give. She’s probably the most dependable friend you can have.    

Lastly, a girl who gets pushed over way too much; she really is too good for this world.  She tends to be on the quiet side, but whenever she talks she says either something hilarious or beautiful.  People tend to get her and I mixed up, because they say we act very similar.  I personally don’t understand, but I guess I don’t have to.  These people make my life better every day, whether they know it or not.  I think the only thing they have in common is that I love them all, to the moon and back. 

I’ve been on a lot of adventures with these morons.  They all seemed to turn out differently than we intended.  I remember the I rescued two kittens at 10pm with three guys.  We were all in the graveyard, next to a supposedly haunted house, looking at the gravestones that loomed over us with dread.  It was pitch black outside with only a cheap flashlight worth 50 cents to light our way.  The tall and skinny boy started to tell a story. The story was about a girl that died on the road that sat next to us.  The legend was if you disturbed the dead enough that the poor girls spirit would come back for you.  She supposedly had long blonde hair that had been matted with dirt and grime. She wore a pair of, now, ripped jeans and a black long-sleeved shirt.  I felt a chill go down my spine and looked around to see I wasn’t the only one.  It was so quiet at this point you could hear the wind whisper.  Every time the tall grass to the left of us rustled someone would visibly jump.  All of a sudden someone lightly chuckled, and a weight lifted off our shoulders.  Before I knew it we were all laughing; laughing at ourselves for being so scared.  Everyone was laughing so much that to anyone else we would have looked like the carefree teenagers we were.  In that moment nothing mattered, not even our friends on the other side.  
Everyone walked back to the cars when we saw two little white balls of fluff in the middle of the road, and someone asked what I was looking at.  When he followed my eyes he shouted, “Guys, look at the kittens!”  Everyone whipped their heads to look at the road, and the car driving in that direction.  The tall and skinny one half jogged half walked out into the road to protect the kittens from getting run over.  A couple more cars drove by, and we all decided to just take them home to one of the guys’ place.  

It took 15 painfully long minutes before two of the guys cornered a kitten and scooped him up. When the first cat was plucked up by this man’s huge hands, and he set the kitten into my arms.  This marks the first time I have ever held any animal in my entire life.  He was more orange than white, and the fur was too fluffy for his delicate body.  He looked scared of everything that he didn’t know already, and that includes me.  I pet his precious little head and started having a conversation with this creature.  Anything to get him to calm down.  This little angel squirmed and was positioned so that he could give me a hug, and my heart melted. 

  “Aw he’s giving you a hug!  That’s adorable!” I heard the boy’s voice softly cry out.  I didn’t think anyone was near me, so I jumped at the sound of him.  He held a baby kitten in his arms as well.  His cat didn’t have fluffy fur, but his had short and coarse hair.  The colors of the coat were white and orange blotches that was randomly place about his tiny body.  His eyes shined brightly with excitement and curiosity to see everything that the world had to offer.  

I wish you were there to see it all.  I bet you would have tried to help scoop up the kittens, made fun of me for loving them as much as I did, and we would have shared too laughs for the hours in a day.  Then again, maybe we wouldn’t have.  Sometimes I think about the people we have grown to become. I always wonder about the person you are now, and the adventures you could’ve had.  Other times I think about all of our adventures together, and that mostly ends in me crying.  I could retell our story a thousand times, and it would always end in travesty.  I think that’s how our story was supposed to end.  I’m weirdly okay with how everything turned out, and thank god you’re not in my life anymore. I don’t think I would be this kind of happy.  So Mr. Mean Man, this is me saying goodbye.  I wish you the best of luck in your years to come, and I’m sure you wish otherwise for me.