Wed May 22, 2013 8:48am 
Report abuse
Submit my work
Share/bookmark
Email
Print
HomeFate Will Prevail
Fate Will Prevail
Summary: Dray and Deity are investigating a haunted house. They encounter a girl who they used to know. Strange thing is, she hasn't aged a bit. She chases the two protagonists out of the house, warping them into the post apocalyptic Earth.
applesauceHater You're ideas are really good. Just some lack of descriptions got to me. Like how you flat out told it was a magical world, you can write hints and descritions for us readers to finally guess that it was a majical world. Add descrition in some areas to add intensity. But other than that, I loved it!Love magic! Ending was sad, but still good. Hope you continue your writing. If you have a chance, check out something of mine, I will be much obliged.
Join the Discussion
This book has 1 comment. Post your own!