First, I have to say that I am and always have been a HUGE, obsessive Harry Potter fan, so I apologize if I am a bit nitpicky, but as I can tell you are a big HP fan yourself, I’m sure that you will understand this. I will begin by saying that I, overall, appreciated this piece of fan fiction. I see that you are taking advantage of this opportunity by allowing us into the minds of all the characters rather than solely Harry, as was customary during J.K.’s writing. Mostly I will be commenting on a few details that I noticed, because personally I do not believe in suggesting for someone to change their storyline or anything like that. I am just giving you my honest opinion, and of course you can opt whether to consider it to be advice or not.   I simultaneously appreciated and did not appreciate seeing a different side to the main characters of your story, namely Harry, Ron, Ginny, and Hermione. I see that you have taken on a, for lack of a better word, “hungry” love sort of approach, focusing more on the relationships and the aftermath more than anything else. Now this is just my opinion— as I began to read I was struck by how deeply you dove into their love/personal lives. While J.K. never was one to shy away from romance, I was surprised to absorb a bit of a Twilight-esque love-triangle vibe a few times here. Though I really appreciate that you observed the small inkling of emotion that seemed to flame between Hermione and Harry in certain books, I was slightly put off by the sudden immoral romance between the two, as it was made clear in DH that they would remain close friends, and that they were each devoted to their respective partner… this just bothered me. But I see that you wished to create a bit of relationship-related conflict here, which rocks, so, definite pluses there.   In certain passages I thought that some people were a little out of character, such as during Ron’s preliminary proposal trip with Hermione… lost a bit of his awkward-but-endearing character there, he reminded me more of Edward Cullen. And speaking of Edward Cullen, the Mrs. Potter phrases was a little reminiscent of that as well, and that was a little distracting, it was difficult for me to see Harry saying that, but that’s just my opinion of course :) And while George Weasley certainly was IN character, it was strange to see him so quickly back to his trickster personality, it seems like he would be more withdrawn than anything, with his best-friend and brother gone. Hermione usually is not TOTALLY sensitive when it comes to boys and love (though she was rather upset when Ron dated Lavender Brown), sort of lost a bit of her determined intelligence and ambition there, because readers aren’t used to seeing her so extremely unsure… but if that’s the path you’re going down for your book, I understand that.   Have you considered a Harry Potter-Twilight crossover? I’m not a Twi-hard fan or anything (nothing replaces my crazy fangirl HP obsession), but I thought that Zenrir reminded me of Jacob Black, as his adoration with Hermione was similar to Jacob’s imprinting, which I guess is sort of clever if that was what you were going for. I appreciated Draco’s appearance, if you were attempting to explain the nod he gave Harry in the DH Epilogue.   I’ll tie this review up with a few minor but important details: Griphook the goblin died in Deathly Hallows; Lavender Brown died in the Deathly Hallows (attacked by Fenrir Greyback); Bellatrix Lestrange’s husband’s full name is Rodolphus Lestrange; Luna and Dean did not get hooked up— Luna married the grandson of Newt Scamander, Rolf, according to J.K. Rowling (which sorta disappointed me, I expected Neville and Luna to get together…); J.K. Rowling also revealed that George hooked up with Angelina Johnson. Fawkes disappeared forever after singing his lament to Dumbledore in HBP. Other than that, definitely look over it again for grammar issues and stuff.   Let me know if this helped any! Keep writing— you’re good.

*hermione* sorry

I thought this was great book, although as soon as the whole harry/hermoine thing started I got a little indignant, but I looked at the comments and cant wait to see what happens next! You are an amazing writer! I felt like I was actually in the story! Also, there are a few spelling mistakes in there, and in a couple places you put the wrong names down, but it was absolutely amazing! You really should send this to J.K Rowling!

Well, I am sorry, but I have never met a werewolf, so I wouldn't know how they act. If you know, please tell me. Thank you! :)

Thanks to both comments! Stay posted :)

i love this but i dont get the HErmione/ron/malfoy/harry  thing.... i also think that ginny/ harry and hermione/ron should all work out in the endd....

this book was very entertaining and funny and because I know Harry Potter books so well, it's humerous to see the characters portrayed like that even if most of the events that occured were out of character. It's a great story though so I can't wait to see what happns next!

I think your Book is entertaining and also funny in places but can't imagine that Harry's character would cheat on Ginny (especially if she was pregnant), and with Hermione of all people because they were like brother and sister.  Then, there's a bit of a twilight thing with Zenrir and Ron. I also can't help feel that Hermione would have those sort of feelings for Harry or Malfoy, however it was one of the best things I've read because I love Harry Potter and it's very entertaining to see it portrayed in that way

The werewolves in this seem to be the acting the same way that the werewolves in Twilight do...which is not what they do

Keep in touch! (:

Thank**** (whoops typo)

Thanks you!!! When I'm done with it, I'm going to send it to J.K. Rowling and see what she says. I really really really want it to be made into a book.... :)

Okay, thanks! :)

I'll read on to find out! Mysterious!

 I know, a lot of people voiced that specific opinion. But, later on, if you continue the story, you'll understand why that bit is in there. 

I liked the book as a whole and your style of writing was excellent, but I just wish you hadn't created the whole Harry/Hermione thing, as he always made it quite clear Hermione was like a sister to him, plus neither would do that to a preganant Ginny or Ron! But I loved the story anyway, just had to add that in!

Well, first off, I think this was very well written and easy to follow - the only thing I disliked was the whole Harry/Hermione thing. Harry always made it quite clear Hermione was like a sister to him, and even if this were different, neither of them would do that to Ron and Ginny. It's just not what their characters are like - Hermione's too moral and Harry would never risk his friendship with Ron or relationship with Ginny. All in a all, a very good book, I just thought it was overclouded by the love affairs that would never really happen.

Alright, I'll try to tag it. :) I seriously loved this one.

Thank you! :)

you earned it