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HomeThe Cullen Girl
The Cullen Girl
Summary: Ever ran away from a family that you were adopted by? Well, meet Milla, she ran away twelve times, and now her thirteenth time and is now living with the Cullens. In this twisted tail of romance, will she find luck with them or will she run away from the danger that they possess against her?
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NaadzI love the book, but I want more! Please continue this book... I really really liked it! The plot is so great.. You really have a vivid imagination!:)
I like the idea of this book, and the writing is pretty good, but I find myself confused by a lot of the English used. English is my first language, and I'm fairly sure that alot of this is not using correct grammar. I'm not looking to really critique you or anything, but some of the paragraphs in which really important things happened I ended up having to re-read and spend a few moments speculating about what you had meant to say, which made it hard to get lost in the story. Try having someone ... (more »)
LacerHmmhmmhmm. I know this is Twilight fanfiction, and I generally dispporve of fanfiction. It tends to be sloppy, and done in an hour over a wave of enthusiasm.
But, I do admit, the first page is done okay. No, I'm sorry to say I can't tell you that its good, and it does need improvement, but that's why I review, hmm?
First off, your usign first person narrative because Stephanie Meyer did it, and you want to be a character in the story. That is the weakness of all... (more »)
Thanks for the advice... But, I wasn't putting myself in the story whatsoever.... I also made this character up
Andrais it free to post a novel? im new.
DirectingGabs
UNserieswriterhaving written both my stories from multiple points of view, i suggest you refrain from explicitly saying things like:
"From Alice's point of view."
Instead try to make it clear through thoughts, conversation, surroundings, and the characters actions who is currently holding the point of view.
Just some friendly advice. :)
Just some friendly advice
princees yui said...
Nov. 22, 2011 at 2:55 pm:
Nov. 22, 2011 at 2:55 pm:
sorry.not 2 be mean but totally 2 SHORT!But it was creative.
msoledadvcWell, I think I'd better tell you before that sometimes I don't understand because my "mother language" isn't English, if not Spanish. So I'll read it again more carefully and try to understand. ;)
But I really love this book!
:) Just telling the truth.. By the way, do you know how to tag an article as favorite?? I haven't still figured it out, help?
I dont understand the story pretty much. I like the description but I dont quite get it. Im sorry because I really like the character you created ( Milla)...
It's okay :) if you'd like do you mind telling me which parts are the most confusing to you?
Well, I think I'd better tell you before that sometimes I don't understand because my "mother language" isn't English, if not Spanish. So I'll read it again more carefully and try to understand. ;)
But I really love this book!
JustCallMeSarahI only noticed a few gramatical errors, but overall it was pretty good =)
inkblot13I'm not really found of Twilight and vampires, but this was amazing! I can't wait to read more! :D
LilLover5-15
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