This is only a piece of the story, for I am still working on it. I was inspired by all the young...
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‘Huh. I guess Mom’s not too stoned after all,’ I thought as I scanned the list and went to my search. The only thing that gave way that she was stoned was the part about Dustin. He used to date our mom when she was happy and glowing and never stoned. But that was about a year ago, and since he left, she’s always been stoned, always on drugs. She started out on the drugs first, not caring so much about marijuana, until Chris and I made her stop the drugs and stick to marijuana. It was better than nothing, and a lot of progress to make, but we got there eventually.
After I had checked out everything and stuck them in my bike basket, I went over to Dustin’s place. He would come over and rationally talk to my mother until she came to her senses. Dustin didn’t want to do it, but he did it for Chris and I because he knew what it was like. He grew up in an abusive home, so he’s always come over to snap our mom out of it, and then he’s leave. But he always came back, for Chris and I.
I knocked on Dustin’s dirty door. He didn’t live in the cleanest neighborhood, so his trailer was always covered in dust and dirt.
“Oh hey, October, what’s up?” Dustin said as he answered the door. I gave him a slight grin and showed him the grocery bags. He knew what that meant. “Oh,” was all he had to say. I nodded at him once and he reached across the door frame to grab his keys. “Let’s go,” he sighed. The cool thing about Dustin was that when he knew something was up, he would act like nothing was wrong. It made me feel a little bit better. “Just leave your bike here, and I’ll give you a ride back to your place.” Dustin instructed. I did as he said to.
When I got into the passenger side of the car, I felt a blast of cool air. It felt good on my sweaty skin. “Thanks,” I told him gratefully.
“No problem. I remember when your mom would stick her head out the window like a dog because the cool air felt good. I asked her why she didn’t like the air conditioner. ‘Because it takes away the thrill of the ride’ she said. I laughed ‘cause it made her sound like a dog. When I did it, too, I realized that she was right,” Dustin said a bit sadly. I smiled a light smile. That was all we could handle for the whole ride. It was hard to remember mom the way she was, and to know what’s going on with her now.
“I know it’s not your fault that she is the way she is,” I told him, because I knew that he was blaming himself for dumping her and letting her become this way.
“I know,” Dustin replied quietly. “How’s your art class coming?” Dustin said to lighten the mood. I was taking an extra art class to improve my skills. But I didn’t need to now that school started in two days.
“They’re good, but I have to tell the instructor that I need to take a break from it for the school year. He would know how it is,” I sighed.
“That bad, huh?” Dustin smiled a little bit. I laughed. He caught the hidden words of ‘I’m not so good at drawing’.
“Yep,” I smiled.
My smile faded almost immediately when I saw our house come in veiw. So much has changed drastically in such a short time. The crass aorund our house was taller than me, the paint on the house peeling off, and everything around it was either dead, or well on it's way there. When I looked at it, I got a depressed feeling.
Aparently, Dustin felt the same thing. "Wow," was all he said. I could tell my his face that he felt sad for my family. Especially for my mother, since he once loved her.
I jumped out of the car when we reached the gate. When I opened it and Dustin drove down the driveway, I could see the tears that he was holding back. It almost made me want to cry. I had never seen another guy other than Chris cry, and I didn't think that I ever would. Now I have, and I was sure that I didn't ever want to see that saddness driven in any guy again.
"Where's your mom at?" Dustin asked when I got back to the house.
"In her bed, probably," I pointed at the house. Dustin almost went in reluctantly, but he knew that it was his duty to help. I sighed and went down to the creek.
The leaves under my feet crunched as I walked. I looked down at my black converse. They were covered in dirt dust, and the written Escape The Fate caption on the white part was fading. I could hear the sounds of the rushing water all around me. It was beautiful, peaceful...calm. Nothing you could ever do, at this time, in this moment, could take me away from this feeling.
I sat down on a blue rock, in the midst of all of the reeds. When the wind blew softly through the tall reeds, they whistled. I closed my eyes and breathed in the fresh crisp air. When I opened them, I could see everything through a brand new vision. I pulled out my sketchbook and started drawing, The waves of the water flowing around and over the rocks were graceful and slick. The grass around the water was thin and spiky. Everything was new, yet it was all the same as it had been only a few, short hours before.
A small drift of wind rushed over me. I looked up at the blue sky. The clouds were moving. I noticed oone that looked like a dinosaur in particular. I smiled.
Looking down at my sketchbook, I sighed. Closing it, I made some random noice. It made me laugh, which brought me out of my bad mood. My laughter bubbled like the stream around me like the stream near my feet. I decided to take off my shoes and wade in the water. It was crisp and cold around my feet. I squealed like a little kid. I jumped and splashed it for a little bit, but soon got bored. I walked down the sharp stream corners. The rocks grazed my feet and hurt, but I didn't care, I was having fun.
Ahead of me, I could see the blackberry bushes getting thicker and thicker around the stream, making it almost impossible to make my way around. I felt kind of sad about that, but soon changed my mood, and sat on a large rock to the right of me that was poking out of the deeper waters.While I sat, I started carefully gathering handfuls of Blackberries and eating them. Yummy, I thought. This was my bliss. My home, my safe haven. I was happy here.
I could hear splashes of water as footsteps shuffled across the floor.
"Damn" I heard Dustin say.
"You know, that's not such a good thing to say to innocent ears," I told him, then bust up laughing. Dustin just scowled at me. I smiled smugly at him and patted the spot next to me. He leaned behind him, started grabbing berries, and popped them into his mouth. He was completely silent.
"Something wrong? What happened in there?" I jerked my head in the direction of the house to make sure he knew that I meant the house.
His mood immediately darkened, "nothing," he said. I didn't want to push him farther, but I just had to know.
"Well, obviously something, Mister, otherwise you wouldn't be so doom and gloom, now would you." I said lightly.
He looked at me and gave a small smile. "You're right, but i'm not going to tell you." I whined slightly like a dog. He smiled at me mischeviously, then bent down and cupped some water into his hand and threw it at me.
"Hey!" I exclaimed. It was cold! I bent down and did the same.We ended up having a good water fight, throwing and splaching water back and forth between each other, until we were practically soaked. Well, I was anyway, Dustin, on the other hand, knows how to dodge water very well.
We laughed quite a bit. My lungs were screaming for air, but that somehow made it even more funny. Ny sides felt like they were going to cave him, but I didn't care. Dustin stopped laughing and made a very serious stop laughing or you're going to regret it face, that only made me laugh harder.
"OKay, you need to cool it there, October. Don't want you to die." He smiled.
I couldn't help but laugh even more. I could feel the blood pulsing in my brain, my pulses punding. After about another minute, I finally got over my laughing fit.
"You should be going back now." Dustin said seriously.
"Wait, you're not staying?" I asked, my face probably falling from the remaining smile that was on my face.
"No," was all he replied. I nodded and walked back with him.
That night, I plopped on my bed dramatically and sighed largely. I looked around me. From the drawings pinned up on my wall that my friends and I had done, to the Hello Kitty figures and bags, to the overall happiness of it. It brought a sheer warmth to me, even though there was a cold draft coming through my window. I closed it and looked at my alarm clock. It read 1:42 pm. I pulled out my jounal and began to write.