Teen Ink

Are K.C. and Bentley the same person?

Hey Vanendra!! Just a couple comments...

First of all, your first sentence isn't very intriguing. It ought to hook your readers, drawing them in, and yours doesn't really do that for me. I understand, as I am terrible at that, but it was just one of many errant thoughts.

Also, you have a few grammatical/spelling errors. The ones I found are mainly something like you using "past" when it ought to be "passed" etc.

I also think it's a little out of the blue that Bentley just... (more »)

Hey! I am epically loving your story.
Please check out my novel You and I it would mean a lot to me! And in the top rated...you have got it sizzling XD

I have a few comments for this. Yes, the idea is great, but I think you could expand the chapters, maybe add more details. This story goes a bit too fast and it seems more like a girl's fantasy (especially the whole singing bit) than an actual story. I just feel like it needs to seem more realistic. Everything that happens is too coincidental that I find it hard to believe. The dialogue could use a bit of work. The story seems a bit forced, like you're making things happen as opposed to letting ... (more »)

new chapter posted

This is really good! I love the poems at the beginning and at the end - they were a really nice touch:) you're a very talented writer!

Hello, Vanendra. I was wondering if you'd let me use this part of your story in a book I'm writing. I will definitely give you full credit for it, I just want to write about what comes next.... I can't get it out of my head, I've already written three more chapters, and if you'll allow me, I'll have it published when I'm done, but if you won't, I'll respect your wishes. Thank you for your time, Jari

I really, really liked this o:

Do you think you could check out my work? (I've got a novel by the name of "kiwi link" and it is NOT getting good views. Maybe you could give me some pointers?)

I loved the dictionary of words that had to do with school, it was very funny