Teen Ink

I love this piece! I'm guessing this is relating to 'Dear Daddy?'

Hey! I really did love this book and I would love to see it grow to its full potential. I'm not all that great with feedback, but I'll tell you what I liked and perhaps some things you could work on. :)

Good:

Your characters were really good, especially Ruby, Goose, and even Fern. It was easy to tell who the major characters and who the minor characters were.

The storyline was very interesting and you filled the plot with enough small events to where I was never really bo... (more »)

wow that felt like I was reading a real book!! VERY nice

I didn't get a chance to read all of it, but before I go to bed I wanted to let you know that I'm extreeemely intrigued by this story. It reminds me of this book i read a few years ago by margaret peterson haddix. the title was something along the lines of double identity. it was a lit more science fiction-y but this just brought it to mind. I did notice a few grammar/spelling errors, but nothing that no one's already pointed out so i dont wanna shove it in your face or anything because there we... (more »)

Ok. Chapter 1 read, and I'll comment again once I've read more. So far.... Really interesting, your premise is good- and it's a unique twist on the long-lost-twin theme. I really like it! One thing, I almost wish therewas more introduction, that I knew more about Ruby, or her mother, or both before she decided to find her sister.

this and your other novel both have to do with sui.ci.de. I liked this story, and when i read that Fern had committed sui.c.i.de, i felt this dark void, which must've been what Ruby was feeling at that moment. The poem was the best finishing touch, *though it confused me how Fern could be saying that after killi.n.g herself BECAUSE she felt unloved* but I'll decide to let that thought go. 

I pay attention to detail a lot, so i noticed some spelling/grammar mistakes in there but ov... (more »)

this is amazing, chapters fseven and eight are really emotional, and the rest is really well written. 5 stars

Very well done! I liked that it wasn't that long and it was easy to follow! I agree with the other comments about the nice ending with a poem. :) very sweet idea 

I loved this story, and I also agree with Garnet; that poem was an AWESOME closing.