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HomeA Place Where Magic Happens.
A Place Where Magic Happens.
Summary: Landon meets a girl named Mae, who works at a stand at the carnival, which makes him keep a little hope in his heart that she just may be the magic that his father had always been telling him he'd find.
Fakesmile
It was good and i didnt find very much wrong with it. The only real thing that bugged me was that you didnt really introduce Mae much in the beggining for him to feel THAT strongly about what happened to her. Other then that i loved it, but it isn't my favorite of your writings. :)
PJD17
well, i'll be honest, the premise to this story itself is not one that really grabs my attention but dont let that upset you the writing itself is excellent i think that you do just a wonderful job with your despritions, and i think that the story flows very nicely even though this particular peice is not one that would grab my attention, i do recognize that it probably apeals to alot of people obviously everyone has different taste, but regardless of the plot this story ... (more »)
Thank you, I appreciate it.
I know the summary to the story isn't that interesting or eye grabbing, and I appologize. My weakness is actually trying to grab the reader's attention, and I wish there was a way I could revise it, but oh well. Thank you for checking it out.
lucybrown97This is really good; I like the descriptions you use, it makes me feel as if I’m really there, and it’s so realistic it feels as if it could be a movie. Landon has a very interesting personality and so does Mae. The only thing I was confused on was when Landon took over the ping pong stand and then it said, “The Snob still hadn’t come back with her for the past hour and a half that I’d taken over the stand.” When I read that it didn’... (more »)
TimekeeperI liked this, it was really neat and your characters were believable and realistic. I hate that TeenInk removes parapgraph formatting though :/
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