Teen Ink

Chapter 6

I roll my eyes at her. “You have got to be kidding me.” I scan over her, taking in her long legs and dark brown hair lying unruly on her head. Short jean shorts leave nothing to imagination (though I don’t need imagination) and a men’s v-neck lays slouchy on her shoulders. She’s beautiful. She scowls at me. “Asshole.” I take back what I thought about how beautiful you were. “Touchy aren’t we?” I take a step closer to the counter, leaning on to it. “Just leave, Finn.” I smile at her, not smirk, but a genuine smile. She hadn’t said my name since the crash. I shrug my shoulders, “can’t,” I point to where Aunt Nicole just walked in. I know she doesn’t know what I mean, but she doesn’t ask any questions, just turns back to her work and filing s***. I stay slouched against the counter, taking in the scuffed floors and clean windows, the age-old desktop computer she’s tapping away on and the framed inspirational posters on the wall. After the crash you think that you’ll go back to a life that’s just as shattered as you are, that’s just as confused and dark as the whole thing left you. But it wasn’t, the picture that someone snapped at a party of Luce and me still sat leaning against my laptop, wrappers stood abandoned on the carpet and my closet door stood ajar from the last time I had forgotten to close it. The only things that had changed were Chance, Luce and I, Diane finding her way through it all. “Luce.” I whisper, letting her hear all the pain and desperation and hurt and loneliness and love. She looks to me, eyes glazed over and tear-filled. “Please. Please, don’t Finn.” I nod my head. “Dammit, Luce!” I bring my fist down on the counter, making her leap out of her seat. “Don’t f*n’ tell me that-“ “FINN! STOP!” Luce stands up, hands on my chest as she leans over the counter. We’re barely a breath apart. “Stop.” She whispers. “I c-can’t do this. Okay?” She looks up at me. “I-I can’t f*n’ talk about the crash. I won’t.” A single tear slips down her cheek, I move my hand to wipe the tear away, but the simple gesture makes her pull away. I exhale. “Okay.” I look everywhere except at Luce. I run my hand through my hair, a weird quirk I have always done when I’m somewhere I’m not supposed to be. I don’t look at Luce as I make my way out the door, not bothering to tell her good bye. * The bass is uneven as the house shakes to the beat of the song. The lyrics start to stand out to me… “And we just gonna make you lose your mind…” Too late, I think. WAY too late. I grab the first beer I see, not caring if it’s spiked or somebody else’s. I just know that I have to get drunk. The beers start to pile up, I lose track after the first one. I start to mix shots with it, hoping that I can forget my life for a while. I come to a halt beside the staircase. I allow myself to think. “Dammit.” I chug my beer in hand and make my rounds at the party. Tentacles wrap around me, sucking me up the stairs into a bedroom. I don’t know who brought me up here, but as long as it’s a girl… I’m game. My shirt comes off first, my pants coming quickly behind it. And before I know it I don’t remember anything about that night.