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Fangs

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Chapters:   « Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 ... 15 Next »

Goodbye Daddy

A gentle rain began to fall. My father was reading me "Goodnight Moon". It was my favorite story. I wanted him to read it to me over and over again. But he would always say, "Marnie, it's time to go to sleep." And that was what I would do. I would go to sleep and dream of the most impossible things. Friendly vampire balls, tea parties where the tea pot and cups talk, sometimes I would dream I was in a magical land where everything was made out of candy.
My father would go to the night shift at the gas station. We did not have a care in the world. But then my father met Ursula and everything went downhill. She was evil and vile. At least her son, Maxwell, was nice. He and I would play all day long then retire to our different rooms for the night.
That night did not seem any different from any other night. It was normal. I played King Arthur with Maxwell, Ursula made a horrid dinner, and my father read to me. Completely normal. But that night will be a night that I would never forget. That night my father was brutally murdered.
In the morning, I ran down stairs to wait for my father. Just like I always did. I waited for hours. But he never came. I waited and waited. Nothing. I began to get worried. When Maxwell asked to play, I turned him down. It was not until midnight when I heard the front door close. A smile grew on my face and I rushed downstairs.
But it was not my father. It was the chief of police, Officer Doyle. He was talking to Ursula. When they realized I was in the room, they both looked pitiful. I knew it was horrible if Ursula felt bad for me. I looked at them both. I needed to know what was going on.
"Marnie sweetie. Officer Doyle needs to tell you something." Ursula passed the truth telling torch to the police man who was my father's best friend.
His eyes widened and I waited for him to speak. An uncomfortable silence settled in all around us. It was so quiet that you could hear Maxwell talking in his sleep. A habit he still has today. I could tell he was searching for the words.
"Marnie, there's no easy way to tell you this. But, um, your father is dead. He was murdered." Officer Doyle told me.
Tears welled up into my eyes. I remember thinking that it was a a cruel, sick joke. My father could not be dead. It was only yesterday that he read "Goodnight Moon" to me. It was impossible to think he was dead. He could not. Not my father. Not Maxwell's step father. Not Ursula's second husband.
I remember I screamed and ran upstairs. I hid in my closet and cried. It was the worst day of my life. It was worser than the day my mother left my father and I for a college professor. The only people I had was Ursula and Maxwell. One of them hated me. It is easy to guess who that was.
It was unfair. I did not even get to say goodbye. The last thing he said to me was "Sweet dreams." I was forced to live the rest of my life with Ursula and Maxwell. Ursula was stuck with me until I left for college.
The next day, Ursula let Maxwell and I stay home from school. I overheard Ursula talking on the phone to someone. It turns out that my father was the fourth victim in a a series of brutal murders happening all around town. All of his blood was drained and he was nearly decapitated.
I felt warm, wet drops fall out of my eyes and run down my cheeks. Maxwell gave me a long hug. My father's murder was six years ago. They never found the killer. They never found the sick person who took away my father. The person who never let me say, "Goodbye Daddy."
Chapters:   « Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 ... 15 Next »


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This book has 21 comments. Post your own!

werewolfprincess2014 said...
May 24, 2012 at 1:14 pm:
this is a really good book i have always been into werewolfs and vampires keep up the work
 
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RedInk92 said...
Mar. 22, 2012 at 5:50 pm:
what had hit her i need to know what happens! grr. this is a great story. cnt wait for more.
 
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Naiad said...
Jan. 24, 2012 at 4:19 pm:
I loved this story!!!! You need to post more.
 
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PurpleWriter said...
Sept. 24, 2011 at 4:59 pm:
OMG!!!! Please post more!!!!
 
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Crimson_Lilly said...
Jul. 23, 2011 at 2:45 am:

This is an amazing storyline. Not cliched, and in no way boring. I encourage you to keep writing and finish this novel. However, this writing was more note like, did you intead to do that?

I am honestly curious because I have seen many writng styles. If it isn't intentional, and you want to make it more 'flowy', try using more commas and connecting more sentences.

Like I said before, this is an awesome story line, I can't wait to read the big plan (though I will pr... (more »)

 
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KurlzBasheld said...
Jun. 8, 2011 at 1:34 am:
WOW! This so awesome! Five out of five! You have heaps of talent!   By the way, can you please comment on my novel? Thanks if you do.
 
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PrettyInPurpleThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jun. 6, 2011 at 11:16 pm:
I LOVE this piece last night i stayed up until 2:00 reading it. Im excited about the nxt one. Please read and comment on the book tht will be posted soon! and the pieces i already have it would mean alot. thanks!
 
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WhiteWidow said...
May 15, 2011 at 8:33 pm:
It's a very good premise, despite how much it's been done already.  I really do admire how well you introduced the characters---that's something I always struggle with.  Just make sure you proofread more and check everything more than thrice.  Also, there was a mention of a "Mitchell" when Sid drives Marnie back to school.  Really good.  Keep up the good work!
 
Sammi_love replied...
May 17, 2011 at 9:25 pm :
haha sorry about the mitchell thing. it was originally russell's name but i changed it. thank you! :)
 
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Taylor_Renee said...
Apr. 26, 2011 at 5:40 pm:

AHHHHHHHHH MORE MORE MOE I WANNA READ MORE PLEASE FINISH SOON !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I LOVE IT <3

 
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hannah-bananaThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Apr. 23, 2011 at 8:15 am:
Great story. It's very easy to see that you put a lot of time and effort into writing this! Keep it up and you should write more but just one thing...watch the time scale but besides that well done!
 
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Mythgeek1 said...
Apr. 1, 2011 at 4:12 pm:
This is very good. you should keep on writing. :-)
 
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PJD17 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Mar. 24, 2011 at 3:59 pm:
While vampire stories are over done i still enjoyed yours very much  keep writing  could you please take a look at and comment on my story Manso's Shame
 
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MysteryHeart said...
Mar. 2, 2011 at 7:11 pm:
This has gret potential for a VERY RAW manuscript if you add more detail, makingthe chapters longer and mabey a few more interesting climax sense leading up to infor mation instead of hitting us BANG in the head with it. and it also seemed a little cramed in for the time line. but It could become the next best thing to Twilight. NO JOKE!!!! but then again IT IS VERY VERY VERY RAW its good i was getting some ideas, to make it GREAT. keep it up if you plan on finishing the story . you co... (more »)
 
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FoxFace said...
Mar. 2, 2011 at 5:13 pm:
love it! vampires are awesome.
 
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toddzdaughter said...
Feb. 23, 2011 at 12:25 pm:
I love this book!  It was amazing
 
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Fangstorm said...
Feb. 16, 2011 at 12:04 pm:
OMG u HAFTA write more! Its the awesomest story on Teenink! EVER! I'm going to send the link to EVERYBODY I know- cuz I think THIS should be the next Twilight!!!!!!
 
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mal12 said...
Jan. 25, 2011 at 11:45 pm:
this is probably the only vampire story i've read that i liked :)) actualy i liked it A LOT! it had me hooked from the beggining! please write more!!!!!!!!
 
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TudeWriter said...
Jan. 20, 2011 at 8:08 pm:
I love it! It has the mystery and love and VAMPIRES!!!!!!! Plllleeeaaase write more!
 
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Itz_Bobbi18 said...
Jan. 16, 2011 at 6:56 pm:
Wow i really like it !!  It has a mystery to it. I love mystery's !! You definetily need to write more.
 
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