Teen Ink

Michelle

Colors blend with one another as they swirl around me. First, there is a mix of red and blue. Then, purple. Then there is a flash of yellow, which dimmed to a burned orange.
It takes me a while to realize that I, too, am one of these colors.
It takes me a while to realize anything. My thoughts are not flowing freely, words taking minutes just to process in my brain, and it takes even longer to put them together. There is only one thing that is clear:
I have no idea what is going on.
I am flying, soaring, up and up. The ground below me is growing farther and farther away. My family is still down there, my home, my friends. My entire life is down there, and I am leaving it behind. I have to go back.
I try and turn around, but I have no control over my body. I have no body. I am just another color in this sea of colors. My body is still down on earth. I am leaving that behind, too.
I try to call out, try to yell for help, but I have no voice. And the other colors do not have a voice to respond with anyway. I wonder if they are as confused as I am, or if I am alone.
Finally, my thoughts process that if this is not my body, this is my spirit. Which means I am dead. How I died, I could not figure out. The words were there, but I could not put them in order.
How could I have died when I was so prepared for life? All of those years of work are put to waste.
Oh God, I pray, my prayer for some reason clear in my mind. Why me? What did I do to deserve this? What about my family, God? Will they be able to go on as happy as they were before without me? What about my friends, God? Will they be able to handle this as well as the rest of their high school life? What about me, God? What is going to happen to me?
I don’t want to die.