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If I kissed you...
Summary:
The killer turned his head to me, his dark, chiseled face giving me a small grin. “I'm going to kill your weak little boyfriend.” he breathed, trying to get me to react. I did, not caring, shaking my head no, pleading with my eyes.
“Hah!” he laughed at me and wrapped his large hands around John's throat. Tears streamed down my face. “NO! NO!”
And then the shears were planted into his shoulder. He let out a roar of anger as he fell back, off John his head landing near my feet. I raised my feet and landed them, hard as I could on his skull. His head re-vibrated off the floor boards and settled back as his eyes slowly closed. John ran to me ripping off the tape, I screamed from the pain. “John he's tied us all up! Get the shears, baby, get the shears!”
Katherine A.
If I kissed you...
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This book has 130 comments.
It's hard to explain... As if... I could tell that it was written by a young person, which isn't a good thing in nowadays book writing. I recommend a dose of my favorite author (who mainly creates horror stories), Stephen King, for more experience in the topic!
Here, I'll try to explain my views on it through ratings.
Plot: 3.5/5 stars
Characters: 3.5/5 stars
Settings: 4/5 stars
Word usage: 4/5 stars
Language convention: 3.5/5 stars
Total stars: 3.7/5 stars
I think you definetely have a talent for writing, and of all novel genres I believe horror to be your lucky shot.
Pros: I enjoyed the character development, along with the setting. There were many parts where I could see the action myself.
Cons: Didn't scare me at all (possibly due to my horror book addiction), and some of the writing style was a tad "immature" (for lack of a better word).
All in all, I liked it! And it's not often that I'll become absorbed into novel's on this site, so good job!
I'm not much of a fan of these types of stories. I write dark things too, but in a different way. Its not the writing itself i didnt like, just the subject matter.
That aside, it was written very well!
I agree with the part about the plot. I got a bit confused with several parts in the story. Like the dancing? When did they ever dance in the car? And it'd be sooo much better if you could elaborate the part where the teens get caught by Raiden. The plot's pretty loose, as a whole. You've got great potential over there though.
But I love love love the bit where you suggest that Raiden could be the girl's brother. :)