On Being Strange V

   I'd like to say that I can relate to Eric Osborne, Jen Wilson, Lauren Emerson, Nicole Adams and Mike iColclough when they say that they do not fit it. I'm a 15-year-old girl and, as much as I try, I will never be in the in-crowd or be popular.

My problem started in the seventh grade and has just progressed. I write to a lot of pen pals because, there, I find people who like me for who I am, not how cool I am.

Now, in the tenth grade in Revere High School, I feel more left out than ever. I'm very shy and I only have a couple of close friends. Oh, sure, I say hi to most of the kids in my class, but I never carry on a conversation with them.

I've never had a boyfriend and I haven't had a guy like me for three years. I guess that's my own fault. I suppose if I tried really hard, I could be pretty, but I feel it's a waste of time because most people will always remember me for the way I look and dress now.

It's a shame I have to go through my high school years, which are supposed to be the best years of my life, feeling miserable. I've thought about suicide, but once I'm out of high school, I'll never see most of these kids again. I just wish the kids could learn to accept me for who I am, instead of just treating me like I'm a weirdo. But, I guess that's their problem if they can't accept someone who's a little different from them. n