Be A Man

I am extremely frustrated with America’s perception of women, and with men’s actions towards them. Here’s why!

I talk with many girls, as many girls are easier to talk to than guys my age. So many are filled with anger, hurt, frustration, and a lack of self-worth. What causes them to take on these undesirable traits? I have a couple theories, but I will be focusing primarily on just one: Men.

We men are largely to blame for the aforementioned issues many women are finding themselves facing. While it would be easier to just write off all men as total jerkfaces, let’s look into what exactly they are doing, or rather, what they aren’t doing.

I read an article once which questioned the idea of “Manliness” and what it means to be “Manly.” Various sources offered their opinions on the matter, and it was all quite interesting. However, I was somewhat shocked that no one discussed men’s actions toward women. There was talk over physical appearance and man’s ability to “Get stuff done,” but not a single mention of what I consider to be the most important factor of being a man: Respect

Yep. One of our culture’s biggest flaws, in my opinion, is the lack of respect men show women. Throughout history, women in all cultures have not been regarded as equals. And while here in America women are as close to equals with men as they have ever been, everywhere I turn I see women being degraded. Turn on the television and observe how women are portrayed. From “children’s” shows to the news, and even commercials, we are being told that women are nothing more than sexual objects.

From blockbuster films with big-name actors to the independent scene, women are always sexualized. Think back to the last action movie you watched that starred an actress who didn’t use her sex appeal to seduce her way out of a dangerous situation. What does this tell men? What does this tell women? The same thing: Sex is a women’s greatest and only asset.

This lie as crept its way into the minds of men and women alike, leading them to believe women are worthless without “beauty.” When we view women this way, we then judge them on their physical appearance instead of their actions and personality. After all, a woman’s physical attractiveness is all that matters. Why look further?

Of course, this public lack of respect goes beyond the entertainment and advertising industry. Although, I feel these two areas have the greatest negative impact. There is, however, another notable source that is feeding these lies to the next generation: Parents.

A parent who abuses you, whether physically or verbally, can cause long-lasting emotional scars. A boy who was abused during his childhood is extremely likely to then in turn abuse his children. If the abuser was his father, who also abused his mother, the boy then in turn has a high chance of abusing his wife as well. A few sayings concur with this theory: “Hurt people, hurt people,” “Like father like son,” and “Monkey see, monkey do.”

If a child, girl or boy, cannot look up to his or her parents, then where do they look? They look to the rest of the world, which tells them who they should be. And who they should be is worthless. Television shows these days set impossible standards for children, but these children do not know any better. They grow up dysfunctional, trying to fit into a mold that doesn’t exist.

From observing people around me whom I have grown up around, I have noticed that girls are far more vulnerable in this area. Women want to be loved, appreciated, and above all, respected. Why then is it so hard for us men to do that? I’m sick and tired of guys taking advantage of women for their own personal gain.

So many girls have poured out their hearts to me; explained how they have been taken advantage of, abused, neglected, torn down, disrespected, and told they are basically worthless. They open up to me because I understand what complete dirtbags “men” can be. I put men in quotes here because, in my opinion, they are not men, but children who have yet to mature.

I should make it clear that, no, I do not think that all men are disrespectful lamewads. There are a lot of great men out there, but they seem to be the minority right now. The male youth are especially immature and selfish, which would explain why the majority of the emotionally hurt girls that I have talked to are pre-teens and teens.

There are those who will grow out of this immaturity, but unfortunately there are also those who decide to never grow up, never learn to truly love and respect women, and never become men. I apologize, ladies, for those all of the guys out there who do not understand what it means to be a man.

Don’t give up on them, though. More importantly, do not give up on yourself: If you are in a difficult or even abusive relationship, realize that you are worth so much more. Do not lower yourself to meet the selfish expectations of a man who honestly does not love you. If he truly loved you, he would treat you with the respect you deserve.

Now, I want to hear everyone’s thoughts. Let me know what you agree and/or disagree with, and even share your experiences if you like. Also, feel free to add on to what I have written.