Ruined.

I lived with my mother for 12 years once my dad and her got a divorce. My mom is now a huge alcoholic and can’t stay sober for 2 days out of the week. Nothing makes me more sad then finding my mom pasted out. Well as soon as my dad left she drank and drank. We started fighting physically. It got so bad one time were she punched me in my stomach and I started to cough up blood. But when I had to defend myself and fight back it hurt me more to know I was hurting her. We fought all the time maybe 3 times a week bad. When I was little and my mom and dad were still together she use to take me to the zoo, shopping, and thing a little kid can ask for. Now she too lazy, drunk, or too sick to take me even to the grocery store. When I was little I wouldn’t let anyone hold me but my mommy. I was unsepretable from her. She was the most important thing in my life. But now I would make up any excuse to leave the house. Because it wasn’t a true home anymore. Anyone could walk in and sense no love and just coldness. I hated to bring my friend over for a sleep over one because she was a chain smoker in the house and two shed get drunk and ruin everything. It’s not fun to know that the x most important thing in your life is looking for way to bring you down. At the age 12 I was diagnosed depression. I lost interest in everything I did. Temped to kill to kill my self but never went through with it. And my number one habit was crying and pain. I always felt sick and thought I was going to die because I had so many anxiety attacks and didn’t go to the doctors to fin out what they were. I started to get straight f's in 7th grade, did drugs and hung out with people as old as 18. My life was completely messed up and I was clueless. Me and my mom went to therapy and the theriphts mad no sense. That made me feel worse because I thought no one knew what I was going through. Anyways well my mom got really drunk one night and my friend offered me to sleep over her house so I did. The next morning I got 2 missed calls from the hospital. I called back and it was my next door neighbor. My mom passed out and hit her head right on the corner of the sharp wooden trash can. No one would let me see her because I was too young. No one told me her had a 50 percent chance of living or dyeing through the surgery. Not only that but no one even told me that they found too blood clots in her brain! Anyways she made it through the surgery and is now a trauma patient. She swore she wouldn’t drink. But guess what she’s back to? Well she got home I hugged and kissed her and was so happy to hear her say that. About 4 weeks later she started again and then the fights got worse. I started to sneak out, got reported as a runaway 3 times and the fights got allot worse and more damage was done. Well my dad finally decide to take cusidy and now I live a smoke free life I’m getting straight a's but my dad is an alcoholic too. But he's not as bad. I still talk to my mom occasionally but I don’t think I’m ready to see her yet. I really wanted to say is be appersated on what parents you have because someone somewhere else has your problem but 2times worse.

Anyways all the pain I went through in my life was caused all by one thing. It wasn’t my mom it was...alcohol.