Jerks Right Now

Girls, you've seen it a thousand times. Some girl you know actually decides to date that dude with the sagging jeans (spongebob boxers), dirty mouth (who'd want to kiss that?), and bad habits (pot anyone?). Sure, maybe the guy wasn't as bad as that. Maybe he didn't do drugs, or maybe he only swore occasionally. Nevertheless, you've doubtless seen many girls--some of them friends--date guys who are, to put it frankly, jerks.

But have you ever had it happen to you?

Don't you shake your head at me, telling me it'll never happen. Some of you are in that relationship right now. You excuse the guy's behavior, telling yourself that "nobody's perfect" and that "he'll get better eventually." Except that you're not dating him "eventually"...you're dating him right now. And face it, girls: right now is really all that matters. It's all you've got. You can't sacrifice "now" for "later," because you aren't guaranteed a "later."

So, how do you know if the relationship you're in right now is a bad one?

Girl, if you're asking the question, you probably need to get out right now.

But just to humor you, I'll give you five sure signs (A,B,C,D, and E, to help you remember!) that it's time to move on:

1. Arrogant
Some guys don't think about anyone but themselves. If your boyfriend is showing signs of arrogance, don't dismiss it as harmless or boyish pride. It seems obvious, but when all he cares about is himself, you can be sure he doesn't care about you--he just cares about you as long as you make him feel better about himself.

2. Bad-mouther
A great guy doesn't cut down other guys. He's bigger than that. He sees the good in people, even when it's hard; and if he can't see good in or care about others, then he has some serious issues you don't want to be at the center of.

3. Crude
Face it: we all know that swear words aren't just "other words." There's something about using swear words that feels...different. People who don't feel the effect of swear words are just using words mindlessly. You want a guy who goes out of his way to have integrity--someone who who uses words carefully. That kind of man isn't going to cuss.

4. Distracted
If you care about something, you make time for it. Think about it: If you suddenly stopped texting your best friend, could you really say you still cared about them? You'd probably be either mad at them or uninterested in the friendship. It's the same with boys! If your boyfriend is seeming distracted or absent-minded, take it as a sign that you weren't meant to be. Your prince charming will put you first.

5. Easy
Yeah, as girls we love it when guys put their arm around us or when they do that hugging-from-behind thing. But we also know, even if we don't like to think about it, that many teen guys see physical contact as the purpose of a relationship. The best guys care about what's inside, not what's outside! If your boyfriend constantly wants to kiss, sit close, hug, hold hands, etc--and especially if he is hurt when you don't feel up to doing those things--he's looking for the wrong things. You deserve better! You deserve someone who values you for you, not for how much hug time you can provide.

It's important to be honest with yourself. No matter what your feelings are for a guy, if he's waving red flags, you're going to get yourself into trouble...and end up with regrets.

Maybe you already have some regrets right now. If that's you, don't lose heart: right now is a good time to start reclaiming your life.