How to Handle the 10 Annoying Facebook Personalities

The Outside Joker.
Definition: This person insists on advertising the inside jokes they have via their statuses, which defeats the entire purpose of an inside joke.
Example: “*tags friend’s name here*…ORANGE MONKEYS! Ahahahahahaha best time ever!”
What to Do: Next time this person goes off about something that would best be left in a personal message to a friend and not displayed to the entire world, comment on their status with something like “OMG Orange Monkeys, I know! That was sooooooooo funny!” They’ll get the message.

The Pages You Liked.
Definition: When you first joined Facebook, you were “like”-happy and liked every page in the universe, and now their updates are everywhere.
Example: Sure, you “liked” that one awesome singer or band, but do you really want their updates about their tour in your News Feed?
What to Do: Click the small “x” to the right of a post, and it will come up with an option to hide that person from your news feed. You can also go to their page and un-like it.

The Debbie Downer.
Definition: Wants to share their misery with all three hundred of their friends instead of sucking it up and moving on. Usually insecure, Debbie Downers want two things: attention and sympathy.
Example: “So depressed. Worst day ever, just want to sleep. Don’t text me ):”
What to Do: The occasional sharing of misfortune is alright, but if it gets to be persistent, simply block this person or hide them from your News Feed. This sort of update will only get you down.

The Liker.
Definition: Likes every single page and joins every single group known to man. Your News Feed is constantly clogged with their “likes.”
Example: “John Smith likes Orange Juice and 3,478 other pages”
What to Do: Blocking is the obvious approach, but if you still want to keep this person in your life for some reason, try suggesting to them that they cut down on the liking. For example, a friendly “Hey, liked enough pages today, or are you aiming for a new record?” will let them know that they’re a little over the top.

The Chatty Cathy.
Definition: Always, ALWAYS wants to talk to you on Chat. And you get fed up because you don’t want to chat, but you feel obligated because they said “hey.”
Example: “Hey!” *two seconds later* “Hey, are you there?” *two seconds later* “Hey, it says you’re online, want to talk?”
What to do: It would seem that not going on chat is the simple solution, but don’t let this person control your actions. Chances are, you went online because you were hoping to talk to a friend or crush, someone you actually want a conversation with. You shouldn’t stay offline just because you don’t want this person to chat you up. Man up and ignore them. I have found that if you just don’t say anything, they’ll assume you left the room or something. If they question you about it in person (“Why weren’t you talking to me on chat?”), you can always say there was something wrong with chat, or that you had stepped out of the room or were busy. Or, you could tell them the truth. “It seems that you always want to talk, and we don’t even talk that much in person. It’s getting kind of annoying, to be honest.” Hopefully, Facebook will soon come out with a feature that lets you only appear online to certain people. (If it already has and I’m not up-to-date, please let me know!)

The Persistent Commenter.
Definition: Insists on commenting on your statuses…every. Single. One. The comments are annoying, know-it-all, embarrassing, or answer a rhetorical question.
Example: Status: “Heading off to the slopes today, hope there’s some sick powder!” Comment: “OMG my cousin was skiing last weekend or maybe it was like two years ago I think and then he fell off of the ski lift and broke his arm and his leg or maybe both legs I don’t remember and then he had to go to the hospital.” Great to know…
What to Do: When you post a status, it comes up with a little symbol of a lock. Click on this, and you are able to block any specific person (or group of people) from seeing your status. With this tool, you can make sure individual people don’t see specific statuses you’re tired of them commenting on. Similar to the Liker, though, you can send them a friendly message telling them their habit is annoying without being rude. Example: “Hey, you’ve commented on so many of my statuses I’m beginning to think I’ve got a number one fan!”

The Multiple-Notifications from Everyone.
Definition: You commented on a person’s status and now your email inbox is flooded with emails that other people commented as well. As though you care…
Example: “John also commented on Lisa’ Status! Ken also commented on Lisa’s status! Rob also commented on Lisa’s status!”
What to Do: Change your settings so that you only receive the notifications you want.

The Bragger.
Definition: Uses Facebook to boast about everything they’ve done, people they’ve met, etc. Generally, everyone likes to talk about the things they’ve accomplished, but if you’re boasting in every single status and such, take it down a notch.
Real-Life Example: My friend has a photo album entitled “Some of the People I’ve Met.” She re-posts it any time she meets another celebrity and gets a picture with them, along with captions like “Me and Nick Jonas…Yeah, fourth time I’ve met him backstage.”
What to Do: There’s nothing you can do to stop this person from bragging except, don’t encourage them. They are either oblivious that they seem to be bragging, like my friend is, or they do it on purpose to make others jealous. (And face it, it works.) So resist the urge to comment “You lucky duck!” and just move on.

The Creeper.
Definition: You added them because you have mutual friends, or for whatever reason, but now, they just act creepy. Excessive commenting on your photos, wanting to talk on Chat 24/7 (see “The Chatty Cathy”), or mentioning things you posted in a status a long time ago, proving that they were looking at previous posts on your wall.
Example: Them: *pops up on Chat the second you go online* “Hey, I saw that you posted last year that you love the movie The Breakfast Club, I think it’s so hot how Claire and Bender get together in the end!” You: “Uh…remind me how I know you again?”
What to Do: Unfriend, unfriend, unfriend. First of all, it’s a stupid idea to add people you don’t know, simply because they send you a request or because you have mutual friends in common. Only add people you’ve actually met and whose name you can think of when you see them. Otherwise, what’s the point? If Facebook is a way to keep in touch, and you didn’t do that before you met the person, why would you now? There are exceptions to every case, but that’s just the rule of thumb. If a person starts acting creepy or makes you uncomfortable, follow your gut and block them, or at least restrict their access to the things you post. It’s an easy way to fix the problem.

The Self-Photographer.
Definition: Egotistical and insecure, this person takes gazillions of pictures of themselves (often with that classic lips-puckered-out-fish-face that girls think is appealing, but really makes you look like, well, a fish). And they ask for comments. Normally I only found the comment-begging to be common on Myspace (remember the days of pic4pic?), but you see it occasionally on Facebook.
Example: “New photos of me, check them out? ?”
What to Do: Ignore. If it bugs you to no end, block them from your news feed. Generally, though, it’s pretty harmless. Take pride in the knowledge that you are not a camera addict like they are.