Teen Ink

Please, darling, lecture me more about
how I never open the door for you.
That’s how a real man should act.
A real man.
A real man?
What about a real woman?
What should I expect a
real woman to do?
Take care of the kids?
Clean the house?

Of course not!
How could I ever expect these things
from you?
Thank you, honey, for pointing out
what a sexist pig I am.
And how if men were more respectful,
what a better world it would be.
How male chauvinism has ruled the earth
since the dawn of time.

Dreadfully sorry, dearest,
I was clearly unclear about the goals of
women’s rights.
All along I thought you were seeking
equality,
when, in fact, you were demanding
superiority.

When you’re ready, sweetheart,
depart from your kingdom,
and come join me in a land called
unity.
Until then,
I’ll pick up the tab,
and you can do the dishes