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Remind Me When I'm Dead

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Remind me when I’m dead
Of every failure.
Boys always win; gay girls don’t
You can rub it in over my dead body

Remind me when I’m dead
Why I should pull my head out of the clouds
And chain my feet to the ground
So I can stop pretending to fly

Remind me when I’m dead
To stop dreaming
To stop trying to be the Queen of Stars
Before I break my own bulletproof heart

Remind me when I’m dead
Why they say God hates me
And remind me why I should believe any of that crap
When I’m dead.

Remind me when I’m dead
How I would smirk and say
“Over my dead body.”
Then realize that I did make you keep all of your bull**** inside so you can

Remind me when I’m dead, because
By then, I’ll be even further beyond caring than I am now.




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raindance72This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Nov. 30, 2011 at 6:52 pm:

This was all well written, but I found this stanza just INCREDIBLE:

Remind me when I’m dead
Why I should pull my head out of the clouds
And chain my feet to the ground
So I can stop pretending to fly

 

How amazing. You are a wonderful writer so don't even THINK about giving it up! :)

 
Lola_BlackThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Dec. 30, 2011 at 1:21 pm :
Thank you so much! That comment, like all the others, had me grinning from ear to ear!
 
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babygirl576 said...
Nov. 11, 2011 at 10:28 am:
Oh i know they do
 
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babygirl576 said...
Nov. 11, 2011 at 10:24 am:
Wow...im sitting right next to you and i didnt know you could write like this. I love it very emotional and deep. Keep writing
 
Lola_BlackThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Nov. 11, 2011 at 10:26 am :
Yay! By the way, I can't wait 'till your short story goes through. How does it end!?!!!!?!???!!?!!?!...Okay, one more ?!
 
babygirl576 replied...
Nov. 11, 2011 at 10:26 am :
i have to add chapters to it, I'm thinking about printing it so you can read it its so good :)
 
Lola_BlackThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Nov. 11, 2011 at 10:27 am :
Okay!!!!!!!! This would have been shourter, but comments have to be at least 10 characters in length.
 
Lola_BlackThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Nov. 11, 2011 at 10:28 am :
Yes, I know i misspelled shorter
 
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dia.dreamer said...
Aug. 20, 2011 at 2:42 pm:
all your poems are so strong and deep...love this one too! :) keep writing.
 
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FutureSceneQueen said...
Aug. 18, 2011 at 3:38 pm:
Very good, honest, and straight up, don't hold back :-)
 
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miracle_of_hope said...
Aug. 14, 2011 at 5:39 pm:
this is honest and to the point
 
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Blue4This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Aug. 13, 2011 at 11:42 am:

This is great! Wonderful how the last two lines make such a statement that you were preparing throughout the whole poem.

Can you please read my poems ("The Violinist" and "For What Have All These People Died", and "Time", if it gets online anytime soon). I need feedback from more experienced poets, thanks. :)

 
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Ha-5-rika said...
Jul. 27, 2011 at 3:48 pm:
Truly wonderful and strong. Keep up the good work.
 
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Lola_BlackThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jul. 26, 2011 at 2:13 pm:
Thank you, thank you!
 
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StephD said...
Jul. 12, 2011 at 4:17 pm:
This is amazing! Its really powerful and inspiring. Keep writing!
 
Lola_BlackThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jul. 26, 2011 at 2:12 pm :
:D I'm glad to know you like it!
 
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Niarra_Nightmare said...
Jul. 11, 2011 at 10:18 pm:
Standing Ovation, Miss Lola Black. Please keep writing. I as a poet myself demand more of your work. I haven't seen such beautiful work in a long time. Something, I too, can relate to. Please continue to write, my sister poet.
 
Fallen-Hazel-Angel. replied...
Aug. 4, 2011 at 5:36 pm :
Iloved it Lola(: you have some major potential and must submit more work for me to read(: truly exquisite(:
 
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