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Love Is Pain

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Love is pain,
some times it is a gain
some people have it in there life
some people feel it toward their wife
I think love is a crazy thing
especially when it means everything
Some day I will truly love
I will love like a dove
a beautiful dove on a pretty day
the dove will not always be this way
many things change in a life time
this is just like mine




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Evilgummysattack said...
Dec. 14, 2011 at 5:31 pm:
It was decent, you are definatly talented.  Reach deeper though.  I cry sould be undoubtably a cry and a prayer sould be undoubtably a prayer in poetry.
 
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savetheplanetThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Nov. 23, 2011 at 10:55 am:
The poem is sweet but you need to go deeper, it's too much on the surface.  Also, the meter could use some work.  But for your first try it's actually quite good. :D
 
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Dillon27 said...
Nov. 23, 2011 at 4:55 am:
i like it. (:
 
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Alchemystery said...
Nov. 23, 2011 at 12:46 am:
To really make something stand out, you have to dodge the cliches! I agree, the dove line sounded a bit forced, I think, because it's cliched. But the intent of the poem is good :) Don't be afraid to go outside of the love ideas people are used to!
 
Uga10This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Nov. 23, 2011 at 12:48 am :
thanks and will do :)
 
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LivingMYLifeThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Nov. 23, 2011 at 12:41 am:
not bad. the metaphor changes constantly but overall its not bad
 
Uga10This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Nov. 23, 2011 at 12:43 am :
thanks 
 
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Falling.Up.This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Nov. 15, 2011 at 1:10 pm:
i thought it was good, although the line about the dove seemed rather forced. but toher than that, it was sweet!
 
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I.will.Be.aroundThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Nov. 14, 2011 at 5:12 pm:
Hey, that was really good!!! I think though the last line shouldve o r couldve said 'this is just a life like mine.' like, with repitition of the word 'life'. but anyway, it's still cool :)
 
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sakinaThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jul. 17, 2011 at 1:42 am:
Superb...Bravo Bravo...:)The poem is AWESOME..!!!!
 
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