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Need Love?
December 31, 2008
See it but never feel it.
Get close, only to push it away.
“Don’t know what you’ve got til it’s gone”
Epitome of my life.
What is wrong with me?
What makes me so un-lovable?
Can someone remove this defective sign from my forehead,
And replace it with a kiss.
I want more than mediocre.
I want someone to miss.
Do I ask for too much?
Are my requirements unachievable?
My heart remains unconquered, unattained.
I’m tired of fairy tale endings,
Silly thoughts put in my head by unrealistic, but hopelessly believable movies.
They are all the same.
Girl meets boy. Girl messes it up. Boy forgives girl.
Happily Ever After.
At least they let on that relationships have problems.
I want raw, unrelenting love.
The real deal.
No movie, novel, or episode of “Sex and the City” could ever touch.
Left alone, drowning in thoughts,
Who else in the world could need love,
Like I need love?
© Rebecca S., Marblehead, MA
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION
This article has 885 comments.
Brooke M. said...
on May. 3 2009 at 1:22 am
your poem is really good
I think the poem begins well, the opening several lines set a nice tone. The voice is strong and develops nicely with the lines that are not rhetorical questions. The last line works with the poem and adds to it, but the other questions spread throughout detract from the flow and diminish the authors voice. I think that those lines could be left in substance, if only they were rewritten in a way that allowed them to work toward a more cohesive whole. Even if you feel it is important that the point of view is not so confident, there are other, more effective, ways to go about establishing that. This poem has great potential.
nordicskiier said...
on May. 2 2009 at 5:20 pm
When reading this poem, I felt like I had written it...(only I can't write as well...), but the line:
Can someone remove this defective sign from my forehead,
And replace it with a kiss.
I want more than mediocre
were amazing....and they were me.
Well done.
Can someone remove this defective sign from my forehead,
And replace it with a kiss.
I want more than mediocre
were amazing....and they were me.
Well done.
daisydee123 SILVER said...
on May. 2 2009 at 4:35 pm
very good very realistic
musiclover71 ELITE said...
on May. 2 2009 at 5:15 am
AMAZING! i feel the same way
-xlimitless239x- GOLD said...
on May. 2 2009 at 2:57 am
forget KICK3593. he doesn't know what he is talking about. your poem rocked. keep 'em comin'. i luv your poem style. good lines. don't let anyone put you down. they're just trying to degrade you. keep your head up, and keep those poems coming!
Dean Hicks BRONZE said...
on May. 1 2009 at 1:55 am
Excellent poem. It's amazing how so many people can feel the same way you do and yet nothing ever seems to be done about it. I guess we just have to get out there and make it happen. Good job, and please check out my own poem, Palmer's Peak. I would appreciate your input on it.
MysteriousLily93 BRONZE said...
on Apr. 28 2009 at 10:41 pm
Very down to earth poem. i like it:) please check out Ceged Goddess, my own poem.
StrawberryPocky said...
on Apr. 28 2009 at 4:10 pm
story of my life! loved it.
usuallyandante, i agree with you 110 %!!!! i'm glad someone finally said it!!! weren't you the one who wrote the tangerine poem? i love that one. get down there and read his tangerine poem right now because its amazing. so original. like, 30 great lines about a tangerine.
i just want to say, get some fresh inspiration people!! you're talented, use it. you definitely have a way with words, though, well done. the only thing i don't like about this poem is the subject matter.
i just want to say, get some fresh inspiration people!! you're talented, use it. you definitely have a way with words, though, well done. the only thing i don't like about this poem is the subject matter.
youc0mpletemex said...
on Apr. 27 2009 at 12:21 pm
You gave me goosebumps.
usuallyandante BRONZE said...
on Apr. 27 2009 at 2:44 am
i like it but i feel like it's the same thing over and over and over again
i'm sorry but it misses originality. structure wise, it's great. but i really hunger (actually, starving) for some good, original poetry, hopefully not about unachievable love or suicide. but that's just what i think.
i'm sorry but it misses originality. structure wise, it's great. but i really hunger (actually, starving) for some good, original poetry, hopefully not about unachievable love or suicide. but that's just what i think.
Miranda Myers BRONZE said...
on Apr. 27 2009 at 2:26 am
WOW loved it!
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