"Remorse Code"

This place seems so empty
Where the memories use to be
Shackled in the corners of my mind
When they must and shall go free

Polaroids forming what was once there
But backwards, fading into gray
My voice is turning into a muffled tone
To where you can't hear what I'm trying to say

-Even though I'm only inches away from you-

I've been trying my best to reach you
But I've found it's no use
My phone is dead, and so am I
Well, at least I am to you

Here I am with my megaphone
Screaming and slurring my words like a drunkard
Trying to send remorseful words to you like a grenade
And after each throw, prayed it reached and run back to my bunker

-Only to find out I threw the pin instead of the grenade-

I may blame my cynicism
But truly, I need to blame my fear
And now I'm left cursing the feet I walk with
As I wonder how I ended up here

I'm left in shame of another one of my shortcomings
Left in shock of the sparks which died along with me
Another year older, another year to forget
How can an open-mind but a closed, cold heart mean that I'm free?

-At least it won't leave me vulnerable ever again-