the nothingness

The pressures are pounding rapidly and uneven,
I can feel the blackening waves beating through like a newly cut wound,/>
But all I can feel is pure love and admiration.
And I don’t know why I have put myself through this torture,
Just knowing I will get no satisfaction in the end.
Nothing but the everlasting tear dripping from my longing lashes,
Waiting for the day to come,
Where death will steal me from this ongoing misery.
I weep at my bedside every night,
Knowing ill have another deep nightmare in which all I will see is your
face,
So beautiful and radiant as the sun shines upon it.
Then comes the black emptiness, the eternity
Which seems to be what my future holds in store for this lump of flesh and
bone
because I am nothing more than a spec of dust
On the tabletop which is in fact life itself.
I am the nothingness you think of.
I am the depression in the back of your mind that comes every so often,/>
That gives you that feel of unease and self-destruction
The pain in your heart that will never ever go away
Until you are swallowed into the blackness of which is death.
But until that point your mind will be a whirlpool of nothingness
This is my whole life put into this poem.
I don’t know how to feel anymore
I cant even blink without a single tear running through the crack in my
closed eye
Sometimes I wonder why I just don’t end it all
Because now I have nothing and nobody to live for
All alone in this cruel world
Just waiting
Just waiting
Just waiting