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I’ve never been anyone’s true, best-best friend
I’m second, a backup, left behind in the end
And then I met you three, I thought things had changed
That I wouldn’t be forever estranged
It was lovely at first; we all sat with each other
I loved each of you as a friend, as a brother
But now it’s all different, I should have foreseen
You just disregard me; I don’t know what I mean
You don’t even listen, it causes me pain
In ways that I can not express or explain
I don’t even think that I’m able to say
How my heart breaks when you push me away
Ignoring, rejecting and fleetingly kind
All I want is to state my mind
I think I can speak, but my voice is too small
I’m just a backup, after all.



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MayaElyashiv This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 6, 2010 at 11:42 am:

This is a very interesting poem. On the one hand, the rhyme scheme feels very amateur to me. For example, the rhyming of "foreseen" and "mean" especially in the context ("You just disregard me; I don't know what I mean"). It feels very forced.

 

On the other hand, you have some real gems in this piece. Like sydney_hope said, the last two lines are perfect. It sums up the poem and the feeling, the meter works and the message and story come across. Another two lines that I li... (more »)

 
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sydney_hopeThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 16, 2010 at 5:31 pm:
"I think I can speak, but my voice is too small
I’m just a backup, after all." was my absolute favorite line. It was short but I really loved it. :)
 
Eilatan This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
May 17, 2010 at 7:40 pm :
Thank you! this is written from a real-life experience and I hope others can connect to it. Thank you so much for commenting, it means a lot : )
 
amaranth178 replied...
Jul. 1, 2010 at 10:59 pm :
Being completely honest, I say that I can identify. About the poem: Poignant. Very expressive. You didn't use flowery words or phrases to convey your emotions and I felt that was appropriate for what you were trying to say. In that moment (when one feels this way), one is not typically 'classic Shakespeare'; one is usually trying to release the pain--in this case, through words. And it's hard. I hope you find true friendship
 
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