The Demise Of My Soul.

Walking the sidewalk of despair and agony.
Listening to the worlds smallest fiddle play my sad song.
I look up to the skies and notice they grow darker.
This seems appropriate given the circumstances.
I feel lost and alone, wondering where my purpose lies.

Does it lie beneath the surface of my personal destruction?
Or does it simply stand before my eyes.
unseen because I have been blinded by all this rage.
I try to contemplate my next move in advance.
And try to occupy my brain with positive thoughts.
Telling myself that it will be okay.

I simply do not know where to find myself anymore.
I once walked among the world like everyone else.
But now my soul feels as if it has died.
And that I walk among the line of eternal death now.
Fighting for sanity in this worlds collection of shadows.

I watch as people pass by me.
They do not really know my pain.
They laugh as I laugh, and watch as I smile.
Not knowing that I am just an actress in this large movie scene.
For when the curtains close, I break down into a monster.
I become unstable for the world to see.
I shield my own eyes from what I have become.
Wondering if it will ever stop.

I grab the gentle rose of time and pick the petals off one by one.
Watching as they float away into the breeze.
Wishing my own spirit could be so free.
I feel clasped down, as if I am a slave in chains.
But my master is my own heart.
It refuses to let me rest in peace.
I work towards a brighter future.
And try to regain a genuine smile.

But something in my common sense tells me.
That the day of happiness is very far away.
My day of apocalypse is before my eyes.
And I watch slowly as I burn inside.
And watch my immortal demise.