Lost (in the darkness)

I am lost in the darkness
and light cannot be emitted
and I am going crazy;
unable to see my own fingers.
I walk slowly
careful to feel the cold walls around me.
They lock me in
but they make me feel safe.
Lying in the open is a book
it is too dark for me to see
but I do not look down.
I only keep walking and walking.
The walls never seem to end.

I am lost in the darkness
and I can see a light ahead.
I can feel its warmth
reaching out.
But my hands are firm against these walls,
these walls that hold me in.
I try to go toward the light;
that thin sliver of truth.
But the walls start to fade and I am
afraid.
I run back into the darkness
and cling to the walls that I have grown so close to.
Again I pass a book
on the way back into the darkness
but with my hands all I feel are the walls.
They are cold
but i won’t look down and I keep walking.

I am lost in the darkness
and now I am out of hope.
I wish for the light to return
but it never comes back.
My hands are scarred
from dragging along these rough walls
and finally
I let go.
The pain is gone, but still I see nothing
but the dark.
The book is beneath my feet
and I reach down to pick it up.
I cannot see the pages
even as I hold them
because the light has run away from me
and now I collapse on the ground
which is cooler than the walls.
The book is in my hands
and even though I cannot read it
I won’t let go.
I regret that I ever turned from the light
to chase after darkness and cling to its walls.
Because now
I will remain

lost in the darkness forever.