The Voice From Behind

By dontforget, cortland, NY

Sitting in class, I try my best to focus.
I'm always intrigued though, by the voice from behind.
Everyone is distracted and quite annoyed
by him … except me.
The voice says things I wish I did … always adds his opinion.
They always tell him to “hush!”
But every word that passes from those
delicate lips is sacred and makes
me smile.
Why do I defend the voice?
Always wishing they would leave him alone.
I've spoken to the voice very little …
but I never want it to be silent.
It's like my conscience.
No matter what the voice says (or sings),
my ears yearn for more.
They're addicted to the tiny lisp and the way they can hear his smile forming
as he speaks.
Defensive. Addicted. Yearning.
I've fallen in love with the voice
from behind.

This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.

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SaphiraBrightscales said...
today at 2:36 am:

Had great fun reading this. I like this poem because of the ease with which it flows, all the sentences just meld together I can't do that well with free verse... my fav line was " They're addicted to the tiny lisp and the way they can hear his smile forming"

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otherpoet said...
Feb. 12, 2012 at 5:53 pm:

I enjoyed reading this so much! You have an intriguing voice (no pun intended) and I liked following the thoughts of your character. Great job!

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Im--NOT--Rayyn said...
Nov. 27, 2011 at 9:53 am:

Awww cute! Haha, very nice. C:

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The~Watcher said...
Nov. 18, 2011 at 4:35 pm:

Ha. We all have that one kid in our classes somewhere... and yes, I used to have a crush on him. :)

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KyleG said...
Sept. 13, 2011 at 7:50 pm:

I love this poem. The way you created the character behind the "voice" was extraordinary. I do agree with supernerd's critique.

When I read it, the line "it's like my conscience" seemed out of place. It makes sense that you would never want your conscience to be silent, but "conscience" adds a connotation of ethical consideration that seems isolated amidst a poem feels clever and romantic. Could you think of a replacement line that complements that theme even more?

KyleG replied...
Sept. 13, 2011 at 7:52 pm :

I was directed here by your forum overing an exchange of critques. Would you mind critiquing a poem of mine "Ocean Heart?" I would value your analysis greatly.

dontforget replied...
Sept. 13, 2011 at 8:36 pm :

Thank you very much! I will gladly check that out:)

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Beachgirl1 said...
Apr. 11, 2011 at 11:43 pm:

Wow! This poem is handled so well, it is great. I like the way it flows from one thing to another. The only thing i would change was no matter what the voice says (or sings) i would change the part in parthneses, idk why :) great JOB!

dontforget replied...
Apr. 12, 2011 at 8:00 am :

thank you! :]

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super_nerd said...
Apr. 7, 2011 at 5:27 pm:

I really like this poem. You handle free verse very well, something I don't think I can do (just gotta rhyme!). I especially like the way you did line 2..."I'm always intrigued though, by the voice from behind." The comma is important there for the flow. You may disagree, but I kinda wish you had done these lines the same way:

"But every word that passes from those delicate lips

Is sacred, and makes me smile."

Something about the rhythm...Anyway, very nice!

dontforget replied...
Apr. 8, 2011 at 11:11 am :

thank you very much! :] yes, I do agree with you that I should change that line