Turtle Shell

By ritabelle511, River Falls, WI

When I am embarrassed
The room feels stuffy
Wringing me out from the inside
Like a pot of scalding water
Being thrown over my body

When I am embarrassed
The words mix themselves up in my mouth
Coming out in an awkward jumble
Until I want to disappear like a turtle
And hide my head in shame

When I am embarrassed
My smooth shell will be a refuge
From the waves of mortifying emotions
And I will cocoon myself safely
In a quiet place where I am just
myself

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ohmakemeover said...
Jul. 28, 2011 at 12:05 am:

I often feel exactly the same way. It is so refreshing to read a poem that is honest and a little claustrophobic, not littered with flowery prose and imagery. You're very good at getting your true, blunt point across while still giving the reader a treat.

ritabelle511 replied...
Jul. 29, 2011 at 11:27 am :

Thank you very much! I try to tell it like it is :)

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ohheyyyelli said...
Jul. 20, 2011 at 5:43 pm:

I love the metaphor!

ritabelle511 replied...
Jul. 29, 2011 at 11:26 am :

Thank you!

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Bill M. said...
Jun. 26, 2011 at 2:44 pm:

Well developed poem; great 3 stanzas. Very pleasant read (not too intense) and relateable. Everyone has felt this way, so the metaphor definately made sense. Great work!

ritabelle511 replied...
Jun. 28, 2011 at 6:14 pm :

Thanks for reading and commenting!

Reader101 replied...
Jun. 28, 2011 at 6:40 pm :

I agree!!! With the poem and with Mr. Bill... :) its simply perfect. I can relae to every word but I never wouldhave thought to pull them together like that. You are a great writer! Keep it up! :)

JustAnotherOwl replied...
Jun. 28, 2011 at 7:23 pm :

I completely agree with the above two...Guess there's not much else to say! Great poem, pleasant read!

ritabelle511 replied...
Jul. 1, 2011 at 3:47 pm :

Haha, thanks very much guys!

Zinaidia replied...
Jul. 7, 2011 at 3:02 pm :

Pretty good, you have a big imagination. The whole turtle shell concept is very relate-able. Only suggestion is to save mentioning the title of a poem until the end, it adds suspense. But this one is still very good, with the "myself" at the end. Good job :)