My mom and dad are crazy, they told me I was lazy, they told me that I stink and got the hose and tried to bathe me, I said "lord Jesus save me" he said "from what my lady" I told him "I'm a boy" he said "your angel didn't page me" I said "you seen her lately" he said "yes, she's in Haiti" he also said "come on now kid you'll also have a baby, they're not all sweet as daisies!"
Love.Hate.Passion.I didn't like the poem very much. Sorry!
I felt like the rhyming was not executed , and that the writing was all just a bunch of silly nonsense and blabbering. You didn't get the point across and the title wasn't fitting for your poem. However , it was funny and quirky. Keep trying !
I also apologize if I have offended you. I am not trying to be mean , I am only telling you what you can improve on to make you a better writer.
soccerangel9494i like the rhyming. and the poem i thought it was funny. but i thought the wording was a little off in the second line "and got the hose and tried to bathe me" but i liked it a lot
-MidnightAngel-I found this amusing:) It sounded like a Bob Dylen song lol.
My only sugestion is that it was a little difficult to read. The ""e" was a little confusing.
But I like it :)
crazy-ashbobash
The "e thing is a technical error, it does it on my poem which is right after this one!! I didn't like the rhymes and personally I didn't like the poem all that much but points for effort! Sorry if my criticism is kinda harsh.
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