and yet the silence lingers

By secrets_of_silence, gisborne, New Zealand

But the silence lingers
Leaves you on the edge of your seat
And you wait
Till through the dry ice
Comes the first footstep
The first whisper
The first chords
The tension builds
The lights come on
The screaming starts…..
And yet
in the echoing confines between your ears
the silence lingers

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casielynnxoxo said...
Aug. 23, 2011 at 7:40 pm:

The authors comment explains a lot, I can relate to this poem.

miracle_of_hope replied...
Aug. 24, 2011 at 6:19 pm :

nggwww thanks

kingofwriters replied...
Nov. 2, 2011 at 7:07 pm :

I thought it was good, but there are a few things you need to work on.

In poems, all the first letters of the lines are often capitalized. Also, you started off the poem with the word 'but', which makes it seem like it's continuing from another poem when it's not.

But other than that, you're a great poet, and I'd love to see some more of your work soon!

secrets_of_silence replied...
Nov. 7, 2011 at 2:07 pm :

king of writers thanks for the criteque. have you ever seen dr. who? this poem is a continuation of the story line dealing with the silence