i love the rain.

By no.name., Ceres, CA

I love the rain.
I love to trace it with my fingers as it trickles down my window pane.
I love the smell of smoke piping from chimney tops.
I love the feel of wet rain drops.
I love the smell of wet concrete
the crunch of leaves beneath my feet.
I love hot cocoa on a cold day.
I love the skies all soft and gray.
Who says gray can't be happy too?
It cheers me up when I'm feeling blue.
California is too sunny.
I know that sounds funny,
but honey,
I just want out.

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nikky917 said...
Nov. 28, 2011 at 10:58 pm:

I read a couple of your poems and this is hands down my favorite, I love it!

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Resonating_Words said...
Nov. 28, 2011 at 8:55 pm:

I like it :) The rhymes are very structured, and that contrasts with the scattered line length. Some lines, like the second, could maybe use a line break. It's almost too long. But not a major issues. Also, you repeat "wet" back to back in some lines, which just is a pet peeve of mine.

Damp, moist. Ya know, synonyms to keep me on my toes.

"cheers me up when I'm feeling blue" is almost so cliche it almost works, but its not quite cliche enough to fit. ... (more »)