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Daddy's Womb This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

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i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.





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The.Lost.OneThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 29, 2011 at 9:59 pm:
I'm pretty sure at least half of the comments on this poem are going to say what an amazing poem this is. the other half of the comments are going to be about what an amazing writer you are. I'm going to be the one comment to tell you what an amazing person you are. i don't know you, and i don't have to. Your poem speaks to me like i've known you my entire life. and no, im not crazy. i'm not trying to say that i understand you. i'm simply awknowledging that you're out there, and that you are inc... (more »)
 
Aspiringauhor replied...
Feb. 15, 2011 at 6:52 pm :
I am allowed to support it. And guess what? You can't tell me otherwise... Well, you can, but I don't have to listen. This website is all about providing feedback and supporting people's ideas and stories. That's what I'm doing. So to everyone who thinks I care way too much about this poem: Maybe I have a personal connection to this poem. So leave it be already. Get this: PEOPLE ARE ALLOWED TO EXPRESS THEIR OPINIONS AND TRY TO GET A POINT ACROSS. It's the way the world works, and that's h... (more »)
 
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LimeGreenLVR said...
Jan. 28, 2011 at 4:06 pm:
This was amazing!! Keep up the good work!! I'm new to the site so please check out my story. I would love some feedback!!
 
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SatanRose said...
Jan. 28, 2011 at 3:22 pm:
IT'S GREAT! NICE jOB...LOVED IT!
 
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CDenee said...
Jan. 27, 2011 at 9:32 pm:
IM NEW TO THE SITE AND WOULD LIKE SOME FEED BACK
 
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Marissa S. This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jan. 26, 2011 at 6:19 am:
wow!! that is soooo amazing!!
 
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starius said...
Jan. 25, 2011 at 6:13 am:
ok, i have no idea what it means and i need help understanding it. PLZ HELP
 
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limeloveThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jan. 24, 2011 at 9:37 pm:
I love this poem what you said still goes throgh my head.
 
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Deadflower said...
Jan. 24, 2011 at 7:02 pm:
I love this poem it is really good I showed it to my teacher and he loved it!
 
Littlecupcakedancer replied...
Jan. 24, 2011 at 7:25 pm :
i should show my teacher to
 
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foreverpoetryguy said...
Jan. 24, 2011 at 6:47 pm:
Nicely done. Please check out some of my poems, I'm new on the site and I'd like some feedback (:
 
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Painelovely said...
Jan. 22, 2011 at 12:56 pm:
this is not bad, not bad at all
 
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RockGirl182This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jan. 22, 2011 at 11:41 am:
really really good, i loved it !! keep it up :) 
 
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sethmeyerslover1234This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jan. 20, 2011 at 7:53 pm:
This is really really god 
 
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CrazyHorse said...
Jan. 20, 2011 at 2:07 pm:
Wowww..thats amzing. you have some talent:)
 
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SB248 said...
Jan. 20, 2011 at 1:42 pm:

Wow this is so meaningful, you must have worked forever. Really really beautiful :)

 

 
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Salt n Pepper said...
Jan. 19, 2011 at 1:15 pm:
This was really good and I really liked it. Great Job!
 
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manateegirl14 said...
Jan. 19, 2011 at 11:49 am:
I loved the poem although you did not have very good grammar. I understood everything! You did an amazing job with the poem!
 
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6aaronl said...
Jan. 19, 2011 at 11:37 am:
I think this poem is a little weird to me even though i understand it. I wonder where the poem takes place.
 
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Annab said...
Jan. 19, 2011 at 11:28 am:
Wow! Amazing job! I understand everything that your saying!
 
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miniminim123 said...
Jan. 19, 2011 at 11:27 am:

the poem is really good, just a sad story...wait idk the story...but i think its sad???

 

 
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