Cambio Network
Magazine, website & books written by teens since 1989

Daddy's Womb This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

By
i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.





Join the Discussion


This article has 1742 comments. Post your own!

LOVE13 said...
Jan. 13, 2011 at 6:34 pm:
wow...that poem is really good! you should definatley keep writing!
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
alexandrexis said...
Jan. 11, 2011 at 8:47 pm:
Yeah, the birdie line kind of ruins it but it's still very good as a whole and the flow and rhythm is nice.
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
BabyJ0215 said...
Jan. 11, 2011 at 8:14 pm:
I agree with everyone else. it flows nicely. the only thing i didnt like was the birdie line, to me it took the maturity of the poem down if that makes any sense
 
Aspiringauhor replied...
Jan. 15, 2011 at 3:11 pm :
I disagree with you... It kept the rhyme scheme going and made sense. If you were out in the wilderness, I would expect there to be at least a few "birdies." I personally really enjoyed all of this poem because I could tell it came from the heart. :)
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
LoveeLikeWinter said...
Jan. 10, 2011 at 7:07 pm:
I really love how it flows so nicely, and it also stays on topic well and tells a good story. (: Good job.
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
3blueflamingos said...
Jan. 9, 2011 at 6:07 pm:
Buurn. lol But seriously, have you tried writing more limericks? I think you'd do well with them. i felt like you seriously cared about defending this poetry, and at the same time it made me laugh at this guy who is just going around trashing ther work when he probably has NOTHING against this poet you are defending. Thanks for sticking up for people. :)
 
Duckie430 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Feb. 10, 2011 at 10:20 am :
People can give their constructive criticism if they want; honestly this poem isn't the greatest that I have read & I have voiced my opinion about it as others have also done.
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
3blueflamingos said...
Jan. 9, 2011 at 6:02 pm:
Wonderful concept. I think you should focus on editing though... For me the inconsistensy of capitals makes this lovely poem less enjoyable to read, or is that a device you are using? I love it alot!!!
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
DrDoofenTess said...
Jan. 9, 2011 at 3:12 am:

loved how u dramatically brought in the concept of how children are sometimes bound to their parents . especially if they are over protective .... u no i have alot of people who care about me n dont want me to do the wrong thing but then sometimes i feel like ive been in this bubble for soo long , that i feel like screaming out loud n tellin them please let me fall and learn ... let me make mistakes ....

and that aside i was jus reading the comments u got n i felt seriously insult... (more »)

 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
SADE_JANE said...
Jan. 9, 2011 at 12:02 am:
This was really nice . i enjoyed reading . check some of my work out .
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
CallofDoodie said...
Jan. 7, 2011 at 9:13 am:
really deep bro, i like it
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Davii said...
Jan. 6, 2011 at 6:39 pm:
This is such a deep poem. Well put and it's so touching. I love it :)
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Jones said...
Jan. 6, 2011 at 10:04 am:
I love this! So many words...so beautifully put....For this sort of poem I might say it was cramped by the extensive vocabulary, but I can tell that was the point of the poem. The words really make it come alive. Wow...just stunning.
 
smartchick118 replied...
Jan. 8, 2011 at 8:27 pm :
I totally agree with what you said ^^^... i think thts this is an amazing poem :))
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
3blueflamingos said...
Jan. 9, 2011 at 6:07 pm:
Buurn. lol But seriously, have you tried writing more limericks? I think you'd do well with them. i felt like you seriously cared about defending this poetry, and at the same time it made me laugh at this guy who is just going around trashing ther work when he probably has NOTHING against this poet you are defending. Thanks for sticking up for people. :)
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Jana.R said...
Jan. 2, 2011 at 3:16 pm:
that is real good............keep going
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Anime_lover7This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Dec. 29, 2010 at 5:56 pm:
Wow.. strong! its amazing, a million times better than i can wrote! :P
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Arshia1595 said...
Dec. 27, 2010 at 1:51 am:
Wow..this is really good..hope you keep on writing.. Btw can someone help me..how much time does it usually take to get the editors approval for the online post of your work?
 
THEinnovator replied...
Dec. 27, 2010 at 1:00 pm :
It took me around 2-3 months for a reply
 
Arshia1595 replied...
Dec. 28, 2010 at 12:04 am :
Ohh..Guess im gonna have to wait a while. Thanks a ton, though
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Site Feedback