Unescorted and Alone
Hi,
I like the colorful description you incorporated into this piece of writing. It is very neat. :)
I loved it! It was very descriptive! And don't give up! I betcha it will get in the magazines if you fix everything and look it over a couple of times! I really did enjoy reading this!
~ Free :)(:
First of all, I'd like to say that I really like this peice, and it was a good read.
The no-paragraph format, however, makes this physically difficult to read.
Also, the story is written with base vocabulary, then splattered with more intensive stuff like "Estrangement," "Effervescent," and "resplendent." Vocabulary in moderation is best when dealing with a teenage audience.
Aside from these minor flaws, (which all writers have and share, myself included,) I should like t... (more »)




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