I punish myself.

I cut,
Why?
I punish myself for my stupidities,
I punish myself for not being good enough for you,
I punish myself for not being more like her,
I punish myself for being myself.

Deeper I push the blade,
Hotter I burn,
Harder I cry,
More pain goes away,
I picture you two,
Together.

You think I’m pathetic,
The troubled girl who is your burden,
The girl with the terrible past,
That’s hard to understand.

You don’t get it,
Why I cut,
You don’t understand,
Even if I hit bone,
What you did to me will,
Always cut me deeper.