Life understanding

By sumer44, arvada, CO

Life is hard to understand
And feels like I've been banned
Because I never had an extra hand
No one to help me withstand
All the trouble
That seems to rumble
Right by so I crumble
Cause it is not humble
Why does it happen to me
Its the fruit of a poisonous tree
The good of the bad won't let me be
And no one can see
I should be used to it
The fire is always lit
It feels like being hit
And just won't stop not even a bit
Why haven't I stopped this
Well I always miss
Because that is all
And I always seem to fall

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Dynamo said...
Jul. 28, 2012 at 1:58 pm:

Rhyming seems to be forced(that doesn't mean you pulled the rhyming or coerced it to come but...:D). Inspite of myself the poem caught me up, its not that I read poems everyday, but a nice one with a theme which is unique and commonplace both at same time.... Excellent work and I think you might have work a bit more on letting it "flow" to create a masterpiece.

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Behind_a_Plastic_Smile said...
May 26, 2012 at 5:07 pm:

the right is perfect it has nice flow and doent feel to forced and the message came across so clear and true great job

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Josika.Nav said...
May 26, 2012 at 9:00 am:

hey! very interesting poem. i really like the line 'The good of the bad won't let me be', very well written. the whole 'life understanding ' theme is nicely executed.......although i felt that the poem got too caught up in its rhyme scheme after a point. but apart from that : great work and keep writing :D

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maizyiscrazy said...
May 23, 2012 at 8:02 pm:

Hey!! (Again:P)

I really like the smooth rhythm to this! It's interesting, but you don't drag it on like so many people do to poems that are just begging to be short. The only thing that I would say, though, is that at times your rhyming seems to be a little forced. Otherwise, though, five stars!!