Not Literally

You’re moving furniture.
You say, “Come lend me a hand.”
“I’d like to keep my hand, thank you.”
“Not literally! Now help me.”
“Okay.”

We’re babysitting John.
You say, “Keep an eye on him.”
“I’d like to keep my eye on me.”
“Not literally! Now watch him.”
“Okay.”

We’re arguing real loud.
You shout out, “Oh yeah? Bite me!”
I put your hand between my teeth.
“Not literally, you stupid!”
“Haha!”

You whine about your throat.
I say, “Put a sock in it!”
You smile. “Oh you’re so funny!”
“No–literally. Go do it.”
“Say what?”