Number 1 UNwanted

, Chicago, IL

They say that
everyone has a soul mate.
Where are you?
Are you undergoing this pain too?
Find me,
I’ll find you.
I haven’t met you yet.
Will I ever?
I’ll find you,
Find me,
Please I can’t take this anymore.

Here I’ll tell you
where to find me:
In the dark,
In my castle of mirrors
At the edge.
Please find me,
I need you,
Find me,
I’ll find you.

Do not worry about me
being at the edge,
I can’t die.
I am the Number 1 Unwanted.

WAIT! Does that mean…
I don’t even have a soul mate?

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InkWriter13 said...
Jun. 22, 2012 at 7:05 pm:

I loved the beginning and middle, but I think you could have done more on the ending. Go more insightful. Bring out the writer within you more. Loved the switch of I'll find you, find me. Nice touch. Great work. Just work on ending.

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KylieK said...
Jun. 14, 2012 at 10:45 pm:

Also, author's notes are nice if they're short, and explain what inspired you to write the piece- not to tell the reader what it's about before they've even guessed. That's why it's poetry- it's a literal, slightly suspensful work of art. The reader should have to think a little.

Also, your usage of "their" is incorrect.

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KylieK said...
Jun. 14, 2012 at 8:48 am:

I like this. Maybe you shouldn't say, "Please I can't take this anymore." The reader knows the character can't. If you remove that, it will help the flow.

On the other hand, I am in LOVE with the idea of "number 1 unwanted."

Way to go!