Why, I did that to myself

Heavy in my mind, heavy in my head. I wasted so much time. Minutes turns to hours, hours into days, days into weeks. On and on again. Only thing I can do is eat, drink, sleep and think,Think,THINK! Can't believe I was willing enough, to even think that was an option. I would have hurt so many people. Friends, family and others too. My life can suck sometimes, but I shouldn't hurt myself. Everyday won't be a good day. Life is so precious! And to think I was too fed up with my Life to deal with the pain.
I can't take the easy way out. I have to deal with my problems and not run away from them. I'm the only one that can make myself happy, and I should not depend on others to do so. Because of my choices and actions, I'm stuck in this smelly hospital bed until I get better. Thinking about family, friends and life. Thinking about the consequences. Thinking, WHY, I did that to myself!