Behind This Mask

reading some of your writings, you write in a way meant to communicate directly- a different direction from my own- which is to reflect and talk at once, but the latter indirectly. I see a stranger speaking loudly at me, that's your position, right? Beside that, This poem, although short, I can feel your plea to someone- the victim of the phantom's mask. On a note, it might have been even better if you had included the victim's part as well. Your part is clear as water, yet to speak ... (more »)

First of all, I just want to say, great topic choice. I could tell that you were writing with emotion, with experience, not just making something up. I love the imagery you provide by using those awesome adjectives and metaphors. I second Mashley310 as far as technicalities go, but, in the first paragraph, you also said, "The all go at so many different places." which I did not fully understand. Perhaps you meant "to"? Anyways, great job... (more »)

Good job! You chose an interesting, relatable topic and treated it well! XD I love the way you linked the beginning to the end, and your word choice was phenomenal. Make sure you proof-read though, you used "your" when you should have used "you're" once (line 10).  Also, this is more of a personal preference, but be careful with your punctuation. If you have a period, make sure the lines before it make a complete sentence. And I wouldn't have used commas at the e... (more »)