Seven Years

I know what it feels like to break inside
that moment when
nothing
is right
makes sense.

Sounds like raw spaghetti being broken
Sounds like dreams being drowned
with tears.
Nobody knows


knows you



you are worthless.

Mirrors lie.
They break, more bad luck.
Seven years
maybe more.
A lot changes in seven years
7, 14, 28, 35.
How do I do it?




it consumes me





me





it





she.

Close your eyes
look away from the mirrors
and the fathers who bang their heads on walls
hide your siblings in the basement so
they cant hear the hate
echoing our house.

One day
Seven years from now
I will walk in the room
Smells like disinfectant
Sounds like a failing heart monitor.
He coughs his goodbyes.

Forgive me,


me and you




you and I





I’m sorry

Seven years ago
he gave me flowers
wrapped in plastic.
I’m sorry
he said.
I turned the other way
and went back to my piano.

I tuned him out like a broken radio.

Not even the prettiest bouquet of flowers
will make up
for seven years of abuse.