Sadistic and Alone

I am sadistic and alone
I wonder what my death will be like
I hear spirits crying out to me
I see my ambition slowly fading away
I want a future to be free from pain
I am sadistic and alone

I pretend to feel sympathy for those when they need it
I feel like an empty tunnel when making a hard decision
I rip the hearts of others
I worry that I will never change
I cry to the thought of losing my own spirit
I am sadistic and alone

I understand that we all die, so why wait
I say be full of self pity
I dream of only pleasure and pain
I try not to look at myself the same
I hope that one day this will all change
I am sadistic and alone.