Not What I Dreamed Of

You’re mine, but I’m confused and lost
This is what I’ve always wanted
Though this opportunity has cost
Emotionally I’ve been taunted

My hearts aching
Even when we are talking
It’s always in the process of breaking
My friend’s always mocking

They don’t realize the damage
They’re not helping
Sometimes I write a passage
In them for help, I’m yelping

This isn’t something I can do
No one gets it but you should
The one hurting me is you
I just wish you understood

I act so cheerful
But I’m actually depressed
In reality I’m only fearful
I try to be my best
But you always seem so unimpressed

Maybe I should give up
But I want to work this out
I try to standup
But I fall with all my doubts

I know this isn’t right
This isn’t fair
Perfect is far out of sight
I swear you don’t even care

I’m sitting against the wall
My tears run down my face
This isn’t what I dreamed of at all
The memories, I try to erase

Please help me
I’ve gone astray in my mind
Alright is all I want to be
Tell me it’ll be okay
And just hug me from behind…..one last time